Recessional Dating

I watched Nightline last night and they had a segment on dating in the recession. I had to laugh at some of the changes, because I thought the changes were something everyone did anyway, but I guess I'm a dinosaur when it comes to dating:

• It's gosh to put on your internet dating resume that someone making less than $150,000 need not respond. Really? People actually do that?
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• Wearing all labels for a first meet is not recommended. You may want to dig through your Chanel bags for that Tiagnello you bought on a whim.
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• Asking where they will be renting in the Hamptons this summer is rude, considering many may be experiencing "Hot Town, Summer In The City" (great song!) The dating coach and matchmaker suggested asking someone what was on their summer reading list instead.
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• Don't be a "downer". This is something that has stayed the same. Even I remember a few of those dates. People are now attracted to the the glass is half full type.
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• Men expect the "fake reach" for the purse at the end of the dinner. In other words, he doesn't expect you to pay, but appreciates the gesture. 
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• Don't automatically discount the jobless. There is a bunch of those out there.

People who are dating are now are talking about finding "partners" instead of "hook-ups". Men making the requisite $150,000 have given up trolling for the "hot" chick, and instead might be thinking about someone that values them for who they are and not their checkbook. But wouldn't they have wanted that anyway? As a man, do you really think you can have a happy life with a woman that is looking for someone who makes a certain amount of money, instead of what's in your heart? 

It reminds me of a young woman I once knew who decided she was married to someone who just didn't make enough money, nor did he have a prestigious enough job title. So she divorced him, and broke up another woman's family, to have what she felt she deserved. Because she was "hot", of course, she got what she wanted. Her new husband lost his job. Now he was no longer making the big bucks, needed heart surgery, and prestige had turned into the reality of marrying an older man. Now she has divorced again, replacing him before she even left. She leaves a total of five children in her wake.

So if this recession means that people are starting to look for partners, people who can go the course in life, then maybe we will get away from the bling and back to the substantive. We can only hope. 

Best 20 Minutes of Your Day

I have had a mental block today, with nothing of value getting through. Until this little video! I was meant to share this with all of you, because it was the best 20 minutes I have spent all day. So if you're in a hurry - come back when you can put your feet up, grab a cup of coffee or tea, and see why this little video is the sleeper hit in our classrooms.

Story of Stuff, Full Version; How Things Work, About Stuff

Not An Original Thought

It must be spring fever. Or just Monday. But for the life of me, I haven't an original thought in my head today. I have sat down several times to bring something to the surface that might be, in the least bit, interesting. But it's just not there. My brain is heading outside for the day. Time to dig in the dirt, it says. So I'll just float around reading all of your blogs. You're always a good source of inspiration. But when I leave dumb comments, you'll know - it's because the brain has left the building.

All Kinds of Mothers

There are all kinds of mothers. One of my favorite mothers was the one we watched last spring at our home in Minnesota. A beautiful red Robin and her mate worked hard to build a nice warm nest that was quite deep. She then planted herself on that nest and stared at us in our warm house during huge wind storms and sometimes snow flurries. But she never wavered. To leave her nest even for a short time in those conditions would have meant certain death for her little eggs. I never had the good fortune to see her mate feed her, but he must have. She looked just like this artist's rendition that I found in Sisters, Oregon. The artists says there is always one more (see off to the left of the painting - a small beak?)


We were thrilled when the little baby Robins were born. She and her mate worked feverishly to feed these tiny, voracious creatures.


I had to leave Minnesota on a trip before they were all out of their nest, so my husband sent me this picture of the last one. He was taking a short rest on our porch before heading out to make a life of his own.

Mothering can be of the human variety, but also the non-human. Our animals are considered family in our home and many others. And what is more nurturing than someone who takes animals that have been neglected or abused and gives them love, warmth, and safety? They are truly mothers.


And then there is the Mother of us all - Mother Earth. She is the most caring. Despite being abused by us, she continues to love, feed, and nurture her children.

So for all out there that are Mother/Nurturers, please have a Happy Mother's Day and thank you for all that you do to make this world a better place.

Being Open

I know that as soon as I start seeking to open my heart and mind, to move forward in spirit, I will draw to me the teachers and information that I need. It has happened time and again. Lately I have read things coming from fellow bloggers that have been life changing for me. One example - a reader of another blog commented that her father told her, upon graduating law school, that having the ability to evoke emotion in writing or in the courtroom, was a gift. Now for the hundreds, possible thousands of readers of that comment it was interesting, but not necessarily meaningful. But it knocked my socks off! Why? Because I had always thought my writing to be too emotional. It never occurred to me it was a gift. It was always something I tried to suppress. I had my husband critique and proof-read one of my first papers in college. I'd worked hard on it and was fairly proud, but insecure. He said it sounded like a Hallmark Card. He was not intending to be hurtful, or mean. He was trying to let me know that my writing needed to step up a notch. He was right. Most of my college papers required a different type of writing.

But what stuck, and I know it happens to everyone, is that my writing is too emotional and therefore not good. My husband is in business, and his writing is geared toward a different audience. The part he was right about, was that you cannot always write to evoke emotion, some things need to be precise. 

But what I needed to hear was that it is okay, in certain forums, to write from the heart. And that's where that comment, made for someone else entirely, was meant for me. I needed to hear that. Because that is where I am most comfortable writing.

So, what I am trying to say, when we open ourselves to new thinking, new ideas, new challenges, stay open to your "teachers". They show up in very obscure places, and odd times. It is being open to them when they show you the way that is important. And from a personal point of view, this bloggyworld is just full of teachers for me. Thanks to every one of you!

Growth Spurt

Pic courtesy of http://www.terragalleria.com/

My life feels like I'm on a hike. Most of the time my path is pretty level with beautiful scenery, and I'm comfortable with the rate at which I am traveling. But then I must climb a hill to continue the journey, and suddenly I'm connecting with parts of myself that need healing. I draw those experiences to me that enable me to grow. It's uncomfortable, and requires effort. It's slow going sometimes, and I really wish I hadn't started this hike!

But then I reach the top of the little hill and I can sit and rest.

It's this resting stage that I'm leaving.

So who knows what I'll draw to myself to help in whatever lesson I'm about to take on. But I'm excited to get going.

What about you? Are you on level ground enjoying the scenery, or heading up a hill and really exerting too much effort to talk right now? Or are you resting, pleased with the progress you've made?