THRIVE

Over the last couple of years this site has discussed many issues. We've looked at how our police are becoming very militaristic, how evil corporations are using our food to genetically engineer seed that cannot reproduce, how a very small percentage of the population owns more than the vast majority, how the pharmaceutical companies are drugging our babies. But it hasn't been until now that I've watched something that put it all together and into perspective.

Most of us do not want to believe in conspiracy theories. We've been taught to laugh at them, to be very suspect of anything that requires secrecy as we've come to believe that it is impossible to keep everyone quiet. But when a few hold all of the cards that the rest of us use to get our information - it can be done.

While we were in Hawaii we visited an art gallery and proceeded to get into a deep discussion with its owner. He asked us if we had seen the movie Thrive, which we had not. He proceeded to tell us that we must watch it - that it was a movement and that most of his friends had not only watched the movie, but were actively using the website.

Well, I finally watched it today and I can honestly say it is very well done. I can see why most of the reviewers on Amazon gave it 5 stars. Not only does it link all the dots about how we've come to find our world in the place it is in, but gives solutions about how to get out of the seemingly impossible quicksand that we've found ourselves.

Our future depends on us waking up and seeing the world for what it is, but more importantly for what it could be. As Einstein reminds us - "we can't solve problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

This movie at least starts the conversation. You can rent it for $5 for 48 hours directly to your computer, or order the DVD from the Thrive site or Amazon.com. It comes in many languages - this is a world-wide phenomenon.

Entrepreneurship

Our family is currently exploring the idea of starting a couple of different businesses. Several ideas are being floated, and nothing is firm yet, but the energy is flowing and ideas are popping.

We come into this with a variety of skills and experience in a number of fields - finance, research, investor relations, accounting, management, computer modeling, experience with start-ups, resource development, alternative energy, human development, psychology, human relations, marketing, teaching, cooking, writing.

Surely we can create a business opportunity, don't you think?

If fact, I would bet that you have family and/or friends that come with a variety of skill sets that create something completely different when you put them all together. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

I would also bet that same set of family/friends have some great ideas - just simmering on the back burner.

New ideas, new businesses, fresh starts. I think we're going to have create our own opportunities in the future. Maybe we can do it the way it should be done - with mindfullness, gratitude, and environmental awareness. 

Secret History of the Global Collapse

Ever wonder how the global financial collapse actually happened? Who exactly are the people behind the scenes? I found this documentary on CMN, and from my personal research - this is how it went down.

With the world coming together and looking at solving these problems, it's a good idea to know the specifics of how it happened - so we can make sure it never happens again. We are lucky enough to be part of something really big. The stunned masses are beginning to stir, and history is being created. It won't happen overnight - but we outnumber the people who have run the show up until now. It's our turn.

Synchrosecrets did a wonderful post today on Indra's Net and how it relates to the Occupy Wall Street movement that is sweeping the world as we speak. One of the people commenting posted "Nine Commandments" that the Occupiers in London are using as their demands (at least some of them). I think they are perfect. What do you think?

1. The current system is unsustainable. It is undemocratic and unjust. We need alternatives; this is where we work towards them.

2. We are of all ethnicities, backgrounds, genders, generations, sexualities dis/abilities and faiths. We stand together with occupations all over the world.

3. We refuse to pay for the banks’ crisis.

4. We do not accept the cuts as either necessary or inevitable. We demand an end to global tax injustice and our democracy representing corporations instead of the people.

5. We want regulators to be genuinely independent of the industries they regulate.

6. We support the strike on the 30th November and the student action on the 9th November, and actions to defend our health services, welfare, education and employment, and to stop wars and arms dealing.

7. We want structural change towards authentic global equality. The world’s resources must go towards caring for people and the planet, not the military, corporate profits or the rich.

8. We stand in solidarity with the global oppressed and we call for an end to the actions of our government and others in causing this oppression.

9. This is what democracy looks like. Come and join us!

The Winds of Change

For anyone who is still in the dark about Occupy Wall Street, or the Arab Spring, here is a great article. This man took many of my thoughts and organized them into a thoughtful and substantive essay. We are in a time of correction. The world is wildly out of balance. We're literally killing ourselves and our planet, and now we need to try and fix it.

We're never going back to an economy driven by insatiable appetites for stuff bought with debt. We're over that. It's time for our economists to start thinking of a new paradigm. We're the 99%'ers, and even if we're doing okay in this economy, all we have to do is look around to confirm the inequity. We're at the end of a monetary system that excludes 99% of its population. One that indebts its children for years, just for an education. Or takes the elderly person's home to pay for healthcare. Our systems are failing us.

Time for our politicians to hop on board, or move aside. After all, they're supposed to be working for us - not the next big corporate donor.

A new wind is blowing. It is the wind of change, and it will not be stopped. It's time to start designing a new world based on unity and fairness, one that supersedes borders and boundaries, having nothing to do with religion, race, culture, or color. Where all people, everywhere, are important and matter. A world that is grateful,appreciative, and respectful of its home planet. Nothing less will do.

So, put on your thinking cap. I think we're going to need it.

Bright Neighbor

CMN had this little video on a community farming project. I had to laugh because as I was watching it I realized it was in Portland (OR) - which is where our girls live, and home to a very forward-thinking group mentality. The clip includes ideas on how to start an urban shared-resources community, which you know is near and dear to my heart. The young man's enthusiasm is contagious. I love the hoot he lets out at the end. :-)

I'm also working with a friend on this type of community for women who are trying to kick addiction and take care of their children. It is only in the ideas stage, but I'm excited about the possibilities.

Sharing resources is going to be something we take very seriously in the future. We need to find a way to feed, shelter, and employ people in a way that utilizes our innate skills. Some people love to cook, some love to garden, some love children and are good care-providers, some are good at fixing things. All of these skills are valuable in a shared-resources community.



In his new book, Someplace Like America: Tales From The New Great Depression, writer Dale Maharidge, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and professor at Columbia University, writes:

One thing I’ve discovered in all these years of hearing Americans talk about their lives and dreams is that collectively we are strong. We are survivors. We emerged from hard times in the 1930s. We will do so again and will begin the long process of rebuilding an economy that works for everyone, but this can happen only if we relearn some lessons about caring for and relying on one another. And relearn we will, for we have no other choice.


The reality is that we're on our own. We cannot look to government to fix these problems because our elected officials are nothing more than a function of the money flowing in to Washington, which is not coming from people out of work, destitute, and homeless.

But one thing we do have is each other. And we have American ingenuity, a strong work ethic, and the ability to reinvent ourselves. So don't count us out just yet.

For more on Bright Neighbor go here.

Looking For a Job

I think an important aspect of this new economy is the realization that we can no longer count on having a job beyond our fifties. Men and women over this age are one of the hardest hit in this new economy. They are less likely to lose their job, but once lost, less likely to find a new one. Companies are going long on lower pay and short on experience.

One of the saddest videos I've watched in some time was a man who felt his wife and children no longer loved him. Out of work for most of three years, he's lost his sense of pride, but more importantly he has lost his sense of what it means to be a man; the protector and support of his family.

I can't know what has gone on in this family to make him feel this way, I cannot say he didn't bring it on himself - has he spent too much time on the negative? Has he worn his family down with anger and self-pity?

But I think there is something important for men to know - they are so much more than their career or job! They are  husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, nephews, friends, the list goes on. They have so much worth that has nothing to do with money or what they do for a living.

Their family and friends need them to know that. This economy is not their fault. 

Food for Thought

400 Americans are now worth the same as 155,000,000 Americans, combined.

That is 155 million Americans.

Most of them benefited in some way from the bailout money.

Read about it here. 

The Unemployed

The rapid spread of unemployment shocked me. This is worth watching:



I remember arguing with people back in the 1990's when I was convinced the jobs being shipped overseas would one day cause social havoc. If you take away a person's means to make a living - especially a decent living with healthcare benefits - society will pay the price. This visual doesn't represent the underemployed, or the part-time employees. What would that look like?

Semantics & Our Economy

Jayne did a post on her take of the economy, found here, as only Jayne can. Funny and biting, she is always a kick to read.

However, we had weekend visitors who are currently out of work. This was a man who was at the top of a division of one of the largest companies in the world. If he can be out of work, anyone can.

I was reminded, once again, of the economy. Sometimes, just for a moment, you forget once you start working again. After all, any paycheck feels like hitting the lottery after two years without one. Then you pick up the paper, or tune into the news and are brought back to our current state of affairs.

So what exactly is the difference between a full-blown Depression and the current Great Recession? We still see long lines of people looking for jobs on the streets, curled around corners and continuing for blocks. We know that families are being displaced by the thousands every month. We know that schools are struggling to feed hungry children, who are not getting enough at home. The only new job numbers being added are the census workers. And now I read that some job postings are saying that the unemployed need not apply. They are only looking for employed workers! Whoa, I wouldn't want the karma coming to the genius who thought that one up.

So what is the difference? Can anyone tell me?

My New Home

I'm moving into my new home. Next Tuesday our things should arrive from Minnesota.

It isn't exactly what I was expecting for my next home. No, not at all what I pictured in my mind.

Two years ago, almost to the month, we put our "home" in storage, after selling our house in Minnesota, and moved to Tahoe, into our very small vacation home. Thinking everything would be a short time in storage, certainly not two years, we stored almost everything except for a few clothes. After all, the place at the Lake had all the other things we would need for our short stay. What we couldn't have anticipated, of course, was the economic meltdown our country would experience.

Two years later my husband has accepted a job right back where we started six years ago - my home town. Time to think about a place for our stuff things. The only problem? We have changed. No longer needed is the big home and all the trappings. We can be happy in a downsized environment. But we need a place to do that. A home big enough to hold all the stuff things until we can go through them to sift the gems from the chaff, such as the tiny silver container that holds my children's first teeth, or the gold-sprayed noodle "jewelry box,"made by my youngest in Brownies.  Or what about that Christmas decoration my daughter made in first grade of dough that looks exactly like she did at that age? No, I need time. Time to go through everything we've accumulated over thirty years of marriage, time to decipher what's important and what can move on.

Enter our new home: Looking for a home to lease has become rather easy in this economy. Who knew really nice homes would be available for less than our mortgage payment on our last house, without gambling the down payment, and being tethered to a mortgage? Who knew that we would be in a home much nicer than what we would have looked to buy, if we had decided to do that? Craigslist has many homes I was thrilled to look at, and contemplate renting. The only problem was getting the owners to take them off the market for 2+ years. (Our lease is for two, and a third at our request. By then, my husband hopes to permanently retire and we will move to the Portland area, probably buying our "forever" home.)

So this new environment of leasing one's home is new for both lessors and lessees. When we finally made a decision between three, all of which would have worked for us, the owner asked to meet us and Lucy, our lab. Obviously she was concerned about a big dog on her property and in her beautiful home. They had only cats.

Lucy passed the muster, and we were seated at her dining room table when we started to talk about each other and how we came to be at this place in time.

She said they had thriving business when they decided to take on a partner. This partner ran their business into the ground, severing long-forged relationships and basically ruining everything they had worked their lives to build. They had been in litigation and the result was that they could not work within 50 miles of the mutually owned business for five years. The severe downturn in the economy also hadn't helped.  They had decided to move to California and pursue other avenues until the five years was over, traveling back to the area for nine days every six weeks to keep an eye on the business.

Unfortunately the economy had not only wreaked havoc on their business, but had also left them unable to sell their beautiful home. They were stuck. At this point I asked what kind of business they owned,  and she said a hair salon and medical spa. A light bulb goes off and I ask her if it's @#$%$ Salon? She says yes, and I tell her it was the salon I frequented when I lived there six years ago, but had noticed it had completely changed since I had returned. And it had. It was almost completely empty when I made an appointment. It used to have about 25 hairdressers, often a six week lead time for my hairdresser, a full upscale spa, etc. Now it had about three people working. No one in the waiting area or spa. I thought it had been the economy. At that point I told her who my hairdresser had been and she was shocked! It was her husband! My hairdresser was now renting me his lovely home! He enters from the bedroom area and remembers me with a hug, telling the realtor that he needed to know no more financial background from us because he trusted me.

We feel so fortunate to have sold our home in Minnesota, just as the downturn was gaining momentum, that our intention was to help someone else out, if at all possible. A symbiotic relationship, mutually beneficial, was the goal. We have that and more. I have offered to let them show the house the last month or two that we are living there. Houses usually show better with furniture, and I've learned how to sell a house. Three houses in five years - I know all the tricks. (Washing machines are great places to put stuff from the counter when the realtor calls and wants to show in the next 30 minutes.)

We will live in a lovely environment with a view of the city, something I had always wanted. They, in turn, found a brand new condo on the ocean that was willing to lease, completely furnished. They will only move their beds and the rest will go into storage, until the next chapter. Which, by the way, she says will entail downsizing.

The Power of Roots

For those of you who follow my blog, you know that after living my entire life in one place, the miraculous finally happened and I convinced my husband to move from the home he had known for 25 years (and the company he had worked for 23 years) and take a chance elsewhere. He was offered a job in the city that I had always wanted to live - Portland, Oregon. Our children followed, and continued their education at the universities in Oregon. My daughter married a native Oregonian and gave birth to another native Oregonian.

 I was happy, but I never really felt a part of that wonderful city. I thought it would just take time. After all, I needed to learn new friend-making skills as I had always lived near the ones that I had known for most of my life. Not much effort needed there. (They were always visiting, so the need to expand my horizons didn't seem urgent.) But before that could happen another opportunity came our way. It was timed in such a way that the decision to leave our children and move to the Twin Cities seemed appropriate at the time.

That too was short-lived. My husband's company merged with another and we chose not to move to the small Midwestern town that was to be their new headquarters. Luckily, we sold our home in Prior Lake, Minnesota and moved to our small vacation home in Lake Tahoe. We have remained here during the economic tsunami that has threatened to drown our country and much of the world. Grateful to have a home when so many have lost theirs.

Now he has accepted a new job offer. Where, you ask?

Well none of the places that have come calling over the last couple of years. Not Kansas, Nebraska, Texas, Washington, Hawaii, Oklahoma, or Boston.

No, the job offer that was offered and accepted is in ..... Reno, Nevada. Yep, full circle in just six years. It looks like I will be just 22 miles from our home here at Lake Tahoe, and back in the city where I was born. Weird, huh?

Nevada is drawing new companies due to favorable business taxes, and the lack of a state income tax. It is thought that it will be new companies that will drive the most growth in the near future, especially when it comes to employment opportunities. After all, we know big companies are not worried about keeping their employees any longer. That ship has sailed.

So we will be moving once again. I guess it's time to go home. Those deep, mysterious, roots that started in the 1800's with my great great grandparents have claimed their prodigal daughter.
At least for now.

We just never know...

We never really know what's going on in people's lives, do we?

Our neighborhood grocery store has decided to be uber-friendly. You can't walk through the store without being greeted several times. It gets annoying, actually, especially for someone like me who is trying to remember exactly what they came for. But yesterday as our groceries were being bagged, I noticed that the lady who was doing the bagging was not friendly even a little bit. In fact, she kept her head down, and when she had to look up, did not acknowledge my husband or myself. In this particular store, it seemed odd. Then I noticed that she seemed sad. Her mouth was turned down and her eyes appeared tense.

We really don't know what's going on in people's lives during this difficult time in our country's history. We do know that more people are going hungry, houses are being foreclosed on people with good credit histories, jobs are continuing to be lost every day. Nevada, the state in which I live, is number two in the race to be hardest hit. This lady, who is Latina, is part of a group often in the bottom tier economically. One can only guess why she did not feel like smiling or greeting, deciding instead to just get through her day.

It was a reminder to be kind to all those that cross my path, whether they reciprocate or not. To have patience, even when people are being impatient. And to be extra vigilant, giving to food banks, and charitable organizations whenever possible.

We just never know what people are going through, do we?

Childhood Lost

Recession Drives Surge In Youth Runaways

It is a difficult time to be an adolescent. Not that it has ever been easy. Misunderstood, and often irritating, they can be difficult to be around. The main developmental goal is social, and that doesn't mean their family, who are often first in line for their angst. They can often be easy targets for familial scapegoating, as they make it easy with bad attitudes, laziness, and self preoccupation.

But underneath all that bravado is a child trying desperately to evolve, to become an adult, to be free from the dependence that has been all they've known. Some of these kids come from dysfunctional environments. Homes with anger, hate, substance abuse, and violence. And never more than now.

There is a group that is literally falling through the cracks. Children on the streets as young as twelve years old. Too young to get a job, or even rent a hotel room, they live in packs if they're lucky, sleeping in public bathrooms or foreclosed homes, living next to freeways, or river banks. As our economy struggles, no one struggles more than families on the edge. Armed with very little resources, they are the first to go under. We are seeing a surge in runaways unprecedented in this country. Families that are either throwing their children out on the streets because they can no longer afford them, or not calling the police to file missing persons reports when they run away. It is a serious problem, and growing.

It is estimated 1.6 million kids are kicked out of their homes or are runaways in any one year. Most return within a week, but many are not even entered into the database for missing and exploited children by law officials. Excuses abound. Outdated software, not enough man hours, etc., etc. But the bottom line? We will pay for these kids one way or the other. Either we will help them while they are young and on the streets, or we will pay for them when they enter the criminal justice system. But pay we will.

Am I writing about this because I want to give you one more thing to worry about? One more downer in a world full of them? No. I am bringing this to your attention because you are an intelligent, kind, resourceful group of people. You write blogs, work jobs, have an effect on your world, even if you don't think so. I just want you to remember these children, not to forget they are out there. Talk about them, bring them to the attention of your friends and family. Just please don't forget them. Realize that the 1.5 billion dollars allocated for fighting homelessness is targeted toward families, and not these children out there alone. Help out, or give a few dollars to your local teen outreach. Mentor. Give generously to your local food bank, because these kids are often first in line, knowing exactly when the shelves are restocked.

Just another sign of the times.

When in doubt - cook!

I've been thinking back lately to my early twenties. Most of my friends were just making do in those days. Money was tight, and since it was yet another recession, most of us were satisfied if we had a job, even if it didn't pay much.

And yet, we were happy.

I have always had the kind of home with plenty of cooking. It really doesn't take much to make a house a home - just the smell of good cooking. It wafts out the doors and makes people want to come inside. I remember one year I was cooking a meatloaf on Halloween, and people kept asking me what smelled so good, peering around me, when I opened the door to hand out candy. It was the smell of home cooking.

I think that no matter where you live, or how little time you have, you should know how to cook. Today was rainy and a bit snowy, and we were feeling a little down. That tends to happen when you read the news. So I decided to cook my grandmother's 'kniphla and saurkraut' dinner. It didn't take long, and the house was full of yummy smells. Browning onions have a way of upping the good smell quotient.

It wasn't long before I was thinking about a holiday brunch that I want to have sometime in early December. I was starting to feel better. Looking forward to things, people, the holidays.

Cooking is deeply ingrained in our psyche. It is how our forefathers and ancestors nurtured their families and friends. It brings people together in a very basic way. It's important.

So instead of going out next week when we drive, yet again, to Sacramento, to go to a Comedy Club for my brother's never ending birthday celebration, I'm going to cook. I'll take all the ingredients, my pans, my knives, and I will cook him a good German dinner before we go out. I know he will love it, and I know the neighbors will stop by if they smell it. Plus he will have leftovers the next day, and all for around $10 in ingredients. One thing my grandmother's family knew how to do was stretch food dollars. Big families ate little meat, but the cooking was usually outstanding.

In these recessionary times, if you haven't already, think about cooking. If you don't know how, then watch the Food Network, or get a cookbook from the library, one of many outstanding food blogs, or online. It doesn't have to be fancy. Some of the best food is easy and inexpensive. It makes us feel good, and our friends and family appreciate being nurtured these days.

Do you have a family recipe that is comforting?

New Economy & Clothes

We go to Oregon quite often to visit family, so I generally save any shopping for when we head in that direction. Oregon doesn't have a sales tax, and Nevada's continues to rise. Which brings me to an annual event my daughters and I share. Fall shopping for warm clothes. Both Portland and Tahoe require such expenditures. Some things just wear out by the end of the season, and warm boots take a beating in the snow and rain. I purchased just what was needed, and so did the girls. Basic layering t-shirts and a sweater or two, to spiff up last year's winter jeans and skirts. I looked at all of the things people probably wouldn't buy this year, and thought this economy is not going to improve through consuming. I think those days are over. People are being very conservative. Our country, and maybe the world, needs to retrain and retrench.

My younger daughter needed a few things in order to segue from college hippie to working girl. Baby steps with that one - she doesn't feel the need to dress up for much. But she actually seemed pleased when I took her shopping, explaining that going to work with holes in your leggings should be a thing of the past. That, no, it was not okay to save all of her good clothes for going out at night, and wearing the worn ones to work. (She doesn't work with the public, except by phone.) It was time to think about moving up from her basic job and maybe into a more interesting position in the company. Hers is one of the few companies actually growing in this economy. That if she wanted a different car, that held friends and camping equipment - she would have to improve her income. Parental units are pretty much finished with their responsibilities. She knows she is lucky to have a college education minus student loans. She is lucky to have a job that has health insurance, including eye care and dental. She is lucky to have the possibility of upward mobility. Her dream of farming may have to be on her own time, however, starting in her own yard. Travel will have to wait until she can take a leave of absence, but she is lucky to work for a company that will allow her to leave for three months and come back! In other words, it is time for her "to paddle her own canoe," as my father used to say. She graduated into a new world. A new economy less forgiving, and not at all conducive to moving around looking for just the right fit. More like the world her father and I knew when we graduated high school. The Vietnam war was raging and inflation was double digits. Gas lines were long, and finding a good job was a blessing.

I actually think she was listening.

Hmmm... Maybe we are entering a new era, she and I. She is growing up, and I am learning to let go. Maybe, just maybe, we did a good job raising her. She is capable and prepared. Smart and industrious. She is loyal, honest, and works well in a team environment. Good workplace qualities. She always earns an additional bonus at the end of each month, given to those making few errors.

In a country where one in ten Americans are out of work, an estimated 15.1 million and growing, I'm grateful. And more importantly, I think she is, as well. At least for the moment. And isn't that where we're supposed to be living?

Life Stages

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We are visiting with several generations of family this week. I'm enjoying all the stages of life, from my grandson at 22 months, who is just learning to communicate, my daughter and son-in-law with all of the stresses and fun of a new family, and my youngest, fresh out of college. We are in the mix, grandparents who are semi-retired due to the worst economy in our lifetime.

My grandson is the glue. He keeps everyone entertained and always hopeful. He is a joy to be around. We all adore him, and he responds in kind. My youngest is looking for new roommates, more in line with the things she likes to do. We bore her with our staying home at night and lack of enthusiasm for music festivals and bluegrass.

My older daughter and son-in-law, on the other hand, find grandparents very useful. Having a built-in babysitter, and others willing to entertain said grandson is valuable. Never to be underestimated. Freeing.

We are also visiting my mother-in-law, recently widowed and 97 years old. She lives in a lovely retirement home, but as she becomes more fragile, we are waiting for that time when we will move her from her small apartment to assisted living. That time may be very soon.

We are in the post-mid part of our life. Young enough to enjoy it, and old enough to know better than to take it for granted. We watch friends our own age struggle with life-threatening illnesses, and we know that for this moment in time we are blessed. Our family intact, our health stable. But we are also sandwiched, like so many of you. Aging parents, children struggling to get a foothold in life.

All the life stages. All with beauty and uncertainty.

I guess that's what it's all about. Enjoying the ride. It careens right along, sweeping us up, moving us along, and eventually it puts us down. It's the sweet moments, the sunsets, the laughs, the kisses, that make it all worthwhile. A good reminder to pay attention to those moments. When all is said and done, it's our memories and the things we paid attention to that will determine a life well-lived ... or not.

Blogging & Triggers

There has been an excellent conversation going on with Bonnie at Original Art Studio and Delwyn at A Hazy Moon. Both excellent blogs, by the way, well worth checking out if you are not already a follower. The conversation revolves around the meaning and intricacies of blogging. Why do we do it? How does it change us? What are the expectations? And best one of all - what are we getting out of it?

I have been pondering and studying these questions for some time. And I believe we are in the beginning stages of an explosion of creativity. Which often happens in economic downturns, by the way. The blogging world is one way to ignite the spark within us to find and explore the gift with which we were born. We all have one, and it may not have anything to do with how we have been making our living. We may read a post, or comment, or be directed to a website, and then find ourselves thinking in a completely new direction. When you think about it - most of us have dozens of blogs that we read on a routine basis, not to mention the comments on each post. That is an abundance of information being processed. What are the odds that something wouldn't stick?

We have been sparked and ignited. Which then sparks something in someone else... and so on it goes. Little triggers, hidden deep in our subconscious mind.

It's exciting to read your posts that talk about doing something you have always wanted to do, but somehow didn't have the confidence, time, money, etc. But now, for some reason you have decided to take a chance, follow a new path, think new thoughts, follow a dream.

And there are many of you out there right now.

Are you one of those considering a new path, or idea, that you have always wanted to explore?

What do you think?

Gearing Up

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I can feel personal change in the air. My husband is antsy. He wants to get up and get moving in the morning. Usually to hike, run, bike, or run errands. A sure sign he wants to go back to work. I, on the other hand, kind of like him home to be my buddy. We have never had such a long stint at not having our whole world revolve around his job. Now I get to call the shots on things involving time that I never used to have as much input. When he works, he works really hard, and any time off needs to revolve around what he would like to do with it. It is usually only two days a week, so I have always had everything done by the weekend, on my part at least, so that time is his to choose. This has evolved over almost 29 years of marriage. Entrenched, you might say.

Now he makes my breakfast and we decide whether to go to the movies, hike, read, do the housework together, (gasp!). I don't think that has happened since we were first married and lived in a tiny apartment. We both had jobs that paid about the same, at the same company. I left to care for babies, and over the years his job changed from a nine to five to one that was at least twelve hours a day. And now I can tell he is anxious to get back. He's rested. He's been off over a year and now he's bored. He's read a mountain of books and housework is just not cutting it, I guess.

Like so many people who have outstanding resumes in this economy, the job search has been ongoing but not fruitful. We have been really lucky, moving to what once was a vacation home. Others have lost their homes, and their lives. While we have been secure, the insecurity in this country has affected us all. We look at things differently. We are aware that some people may never find work, in their field, again. That life's meaning needs to come from elsewhere in our lives. And this lesson we have learned: Don't love a job - it will not love you back. This was something my husband's first boss told him thirty years ago, and he has found those words of wisdom to be pearls. A job is a place you go to earn money to live. It deserves your undivided attention while you're there, but it doesn't deserve to rule your world. It doesn't deserve to define you. You are so much more than a job - any job, even one that rocks your boat. Remember to feed the other parts of your life. They are just as important as what you do to earn a living and will still be there for you if something happens to your business or job title.

So we wait on two possibilities. We may be able to stay here, or we move far away to a state I have never even visited. Or maybe they both fall through. That's the reality of life in America. No guarantees.

Dark Clouds

http://www.terragalleria.com/

I recently read a nasty comment left on someone's blog that was devastating enough that he decided to close his blog. And I really want to take a moment to talk about all the negativity in the world right now. I can feel the energy as if it were a breathing thing, over the last couple of days. I've been swatting at my own black cloud. But I also know that the only way to combat all of the "stuff" going on is to be positive. To stay grounded and centered. Realizing that when people put themselves out there, in a blog, they are sensitive to what we leave as a comment. That's not to say that leaving a differing opinion is not welcome, it is, at least on mine. But being mindful that many people are struggling with job loss, self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression, loneliness, burn out, illness, and a host of other problems. We are going through trying times. It is often what makes our writing so soulful and life affirming.

We have a responsibility to be aware of the impact we have on the world. It has been a lack of this type of awareness that has propelled us to where we are now. And the blog world has been a place where most people are supportive and friendly. A very positive place. A life-affirming place. A wonderful place. At least it has been for me.

I think it is certainly okay to not leave a comment if it might be hurtful. Especially one of a personal nature. Just move on. It is not our responsibility to set any one straight, offering up a nasty opinion. We simply do not know the effects of what that one comment might have on the person. Because we really don't know where that person is coming from, or what they have been through. We only know snippets of a life shared. And we are all a bit vulnerable right now. Don't you agree?

Recessional Dating

I watched Nightline last night and they had a segment on dating in the recession. I had to laugh at some of the changes, because I thought the changes were something everyone did anyway, but I guess I'm a dinosaur when it comes to dating:

• It's gosh to put on your internet dating resume that someone making less than $150,000 need not respond. Really? People actually do that?
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• Wearing all labels for a first meet is not recommended. You may want to dig through your Chanel bags for that Tiagnello you bought on a whim.
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• Asking where they will be renting in the Hamptons this summer is rude, considering many may be experiencing "Hot Town, Summer In The City" (great song!) The dating coach and matchmaker suggested asking someone what was on their summer reading list instead.
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• Don't be a "downer". This is something that has stayed the same. Even I remember a few of those dates. People are now attracted to the the glass is half full type.
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• Men expect the "fake reach" for the purse at the end of the dinner. In other words, he doesn't expect you to pay, but appreciates the gesture. 
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• Don't automatically discount the jobless. There is a bunch of those out there.

People who are dating are now are talking about finding "partners" instead of "hook-ups". Men making the requisite $150,000 have given up trolling for the "hot" chick, and instead might be thinking about someone that values them for who they are and not their checkbook. But wouldn't they have wanted that anyway? As a man, do you really think you can have a happy life with a woman that is looking for someone who makes a certain amount of money, instead of what's in your heart? 

It reminds me of a young woman I once knew who decided she was married to someone who just didn't make enough money, nor did he have a prestigious enough job title. So she divorced him, and broke up another woman's family, to have what she felt she deserved. Because she was "hot", of course, she got what she wanted. Her new husband lost his job. Now he was no longer making the big bucks, needed heart surgery, and prestige had turned into the reality of marrying an older man. Now she has divorced again, replacing him before she even left. She leaves a total of five children in her wake.

So if this recession means that people are starting to look for partners, people who can go the course in life, then maybe we will get away from the bling and back to the substantive. We can only hope.