How To Be Alone

I borrowed this sweet little video from Secret Notebooks...wild pages. It reminded me of those days before I married my husband and I lived alone. I remember the challenge of those years for me, surrounded by cohorts that were getting married and starting families. I wonder what I would do now, thirty years later.

I think of my mother-in-law facing this test at the advanced age of 97 after 67 years of marriage, and I am startled by her strength. I think of a dear blogging friend at the beginning of this journey, and I feel her fear, pain, and sorrow. How do we traverse this uncharted territory when our lives have been about sharing with others?

I guess we do it one step at a time. I guess we do it by being patient with ourselves.

When Enough is Perfect

(one of McAfee's five homes, Colorado)

I watched a Nightline episode last night on John McAfee, of anti-virus software and instant messaging fame, and it highlighted something I had been thinking about for several days. And that is the thought that enough is perfect, too much is stultifying. We lose something in ourselves when we have too much. We lose our creative desire to achieve. Why look for your unique purpose in life if you have whatever you want, without the struggle. McAfee made the comment that people always want, but what they need is very little.

In his case, he was just auctioning off the last of his five homes, antique cars and air-stream trailers, planes, toys, art, all of his belongings. He had lost around ninety million dollars in this economic downturn, having most of his holdings in luxury real estate and the stock market. Luxury real estate is down, in case you haven't noticed. In fact, his multi-million dollar estate in New Mexico was auctioned off for around $525,000. He said it was less than he had spent on landscaping for the place.

But he wasn't upset, in fact he was relieved. It was all gone, and he and his pick-up were heading to Central America to work on a venture having to do with natural medicines. Had he a spiritual awakening? Maybe. Or maybe, like many of us, he realized too much stuff is like a ball and chain. It needs to be managed, cared for, maintained, cleaned. If it involves people to do it for us, it requires managing people, which is like herding cats sometimes.

He will walk away with a "fistful of millions", so he won't be worrying about having enough food, or shelter, or anything else that really matters. And that is the crux of the thing, having enough is imperative. We need a home, enough food for our family and animals, clothes on our backs. But it doesn't have to be wildly expensive meals in restaurants, five houses, and designer labels. Too much just bogs and weighs us down, sapping our innate desire to find our purpose. Which may not have anything to do with money or things, but something else, something imperative to us, hidden, waiting to be needed.