Living Fearlessly

Easier said than done. We are supposed to fear everything these days. The latest fear to hit our house is the vitamin scare. My husband, never a vitamin proponent, thinks I should fear my vitamins. After all, there is a new study somewhere that says vitamins may cause cancer. Well, I think fearing vitamins causing cancer, actually causes the cancer. Instead, I tell him, the pharmaceutical companies actually want to get a bill passed that would outlaw over-the-counter vitamins and require that we have to go to a doctor and get a Rx for our vitamins. Who do you suppose wins with that scenario?

We are being inundated with fear porn. I can't think of anything I'm just supposed to enjoy. So I'm consciously trying to shift my awareness to enjoying absolutely everything I can. If it's an icy cold Maker's Mark Manhattan served at our favorite restaurant, I'm going to thoroughly enjoy it! I know I'm not supposed to drink colored spirits, they're supposed to be bad for you, but I'm choosing instead to focus on what it is I like about that perfectly prepared luxury.

So when I came across this interview, I knew I was getting reinforcement that I'm heading in the right direction. It's time to live fearlessly. As Steve Jobs reminded us in his speech at Stanford University - "you have nothing to lose - you're already naked."

Living The Expat Life

My daughter sent me an email today from some friends that have relocated to Ecuador. It seems they have leased acreage for a organic farm and are looking for investors to build about eight eco-friendly homes on about 1 acre per household. Sound familiar?

So since this is right up my 'shared-resources' alley, I thought I would see what real estate prices were like in Ecuador. You can get this house for $180,000 in Cuenca:

Under Contract means the realtor has a signed contract to sell the home.

How about this one on acreage outside of town for $370,000? It has six bedrooms and six baths, full maids quarters and the taxes for 2009 was $145. (My older daughter thought the maid's quarters would be perfect for her younger sister. :-) I'm thinking an extended family could live here:

I guess these places are starting to look better and better to me when I realize the opportunities for our children are no longer in the United States. After reading a long article on the "lost generation" of new college graduates today, I realized this country is not what it used to be. Our "economy of war" is leaving me sad and dispirited. The huge shift to corporatism, with it's lack of moral obligation, is going to drive the best and brightest to other places, offering brighter futures.

Maybe it's time to look elsewhere, where we may not have as many amenities, but life can still be good. Maybe we can afford to retire before we're 80 years old. What do you think?

Here is a free handbook for moving to Ecuador.

Bethanny Ever After

Does anyone else watch Bethanny Ever After? I know it is a reality show, and should really be below my sense of intellectual curiosity, but I'm not much of an intellectual, and I love reality TV, even if I  have to watch it alone. People are interesting. They just are! My husband argues that reality TV is not really reality, but some producers version of what might sell. Yeah, yeah, I know. But real personalities peek through, and you do get a sense of some of these people's idiosyncrasies, their character, their vulnerabilities, and their sense of right and wrong. And to me - that's interesting. Human beings are interesting!

Okay, so now on to Bethanny. If you haven't watched Real Housewives of New York City over the last couple of years (minus this year) you may not know who she is, but she is living a fairy tale life, and it all started just a couple of years ago.

Bethanny grew up lonely, there is no doubt about that. Her mother was dysfunctional and her father non-existent. She raised herself, and has been basically on her own her whole life. She wanted a husband and a family, it just didn't seem to be happening. That is, until about a year ago...

All in one year - she got a cookbook deal for her Skinny Girl food line, has written two cookbooks, found a great guy and got married, had a baby,  created a Skinny Girl Margarita (which is being sold for a bizillion dollars), has her own reality show, competed on Skating With the Stars coming in second place, sells out theatres to women who are dancing in the aisles waiting to hear her speak, and may be moving to Los Angeles! What's not to love?

But beyond that she is vulnerable, grateful, kind, funny, and totally likable. She collects people, recognizing that each person has a wonderful gift, and that not everyone has the same gift. I love that about her. Probably more than anything else, I love that about her. She sees through the geeky food buff, who has a hard time talking to people, to the passionate heart that loves food and comes alive when he writes - she then figures out how he can join the fun with a part time job in her company. Just one in her managerie.

She knows she is neurotic and tries hard not to take it out on all the people around her - and there are plenty around her - all seemingly living with them in their small apartment in Tribeca. (Not really, it just seems that way.)

I know she will not do this show forever. She is a multi, multi-bizillionaire now. But I, for one, will miss her and her sweet husband, absolutely adorable baby girl, and all of the characters that she collects. She is the Cinderella story of our time. The lonely woman who had a clanging biological clock, with no viable prospects, that finally found her prince and so much more.

Life is amazing, and Bethanny is living proof.

Heal Your Life

One of the things that I think is very important regarding good mental health is starting your day in a positive manner. Rather than reading news sites, or newspapers, or turning on the television, start your day off with positive reinforcement. Some may want to meditate, pray, do Tai Chi, Yoga, run or walk. But beginning your day with positive thinking will draw positive energy to you throughout the day.

I always read the news first thing in the morning. Bad idea. It left me worrying and thinking about all of the horrible things going on in the world and not focusing on the good.  The news programs count on manipulation. We are all in control of having a life well-lived. What we concentrate on becomes who we are. Isn't it just as important to work on a healthy mind as it is to work on a healthy body?

Here is a new website I recently found: Heal Your Life has a variety of good information, regardless of your religious or political views. Instead of the news, I begin my day with life-affirming information. There is plenty of time later in the day to read the stuff that makes me feel bad.

What were you learning in the 1970's?

(Secluded Falls - Kauai)

I had so much fun reading your comments from my last post, I thought we would move on to the 70's.

Now this decade turned out to be full of life lessons for me. I think everyone has a time in their lives where their decisions and lifestyle choices may not be conducive to a life well-lived. Well the swinging 70's were mine.

So what was I up to?

Well I was married right out of high school, because that's what you did in the summer of 1971 if you were not off to college, and you've split from your high school sweetheart. Nothing like getting married on the rebound, especially since your father has already nixed the idea of ever "living with someone." I believe his words were something to the effect that "he would never darken my doorstep..." How dramatic was that? But throughly believable at the time. Of course that flew out the window when my brother lived with his girlfriend a few years later. Obviously different sets of rules for boys and girls in my father's mind. (He certainly darkened their doorstep!) Not that he wanted me to get married - no, he did his level best to change my mind, right up to the last minute. But to be perfectly honest - I had nothing better to do - and my husband to be was one of my best friends. How bad could living with your best friend be? At any rate, it lasted five years, and without children to share, it was an equitable and friendly split.

Off to turning up the spigot on life lessons. Bad relationships, too much partying, and jobs that were not career opportunities. A limbo of sorts. But an important period it turns out. Because without seeing what life is when you are not focused on what's is really important - it sways and rocks - you'll never know what you don't want for the rest of your life. Now don't get me wrong - I had a ball - and I certainly made up for all those years of being married and not wreaking havoc on some college campus somewhere.

The high point, and the end of the decade, was spent working at a Club Med in Hawaii. Now before you start thinking you know what goes on at Club Mediterranee, let me assure you - Hawaii is not the Caribbean. So forget sex on the beach stories - Hawaii was plenty fun, but there were rules there that were not the same as in some of the other clubs during the 1970's. But I had been offered a job, all expenses paid - including airfare to and from when I was ready to leave - so I figured why not? My father was not happy, to say the least, especially since 60 Minutes did a story about some of the more racy clubs, and he assumed they were all the same. But I was already there and all he could do was hope I'd come home soon.

Six months later, and a wonderful time sailing through the Hawaiian islands with friends, I was ready to come home. But not for long. My plan was to put some things in order and return to Honolulu to share an apartment with one of my fellow GO's who was from there. We both had tired of the constant party - and believe me, when you work for a company that is selling fun - you are always working. Even when you are off work you are still representing vacations - no down time allowed. Not to mention a lack of newspapers and television. You literally have no idea what's going on in the outside world. Not that I cared much. But still. One can only live that lifestyle for a while before one becomes like one of those other GO's who spent too much time smoking pocololo and playing golf, or whatever they were teaching, and were burn-outs. So I left the beautiful island of Kauai behind, expecting to return to Oahu in record speed.

But that was not to be...

What about you? What were you doing in the 1970's? Were you learning life lessons as well?

Life Stages

http://www.terragalleria.com/index.html

We are visiting with several generations of family this week. I'm enjoying all the stages of life, from my grandson at 22 months, who is just learning to communicate, my daughter and son-in-law with all of the stresses and fun of a new family, and my youngest, fresh out of college. We are in the mix, grandparents who are semi-retired due to the worst economy in our lifetime.

My grandson is the glue. He keeps everyone entertained and always hopeful. He is a joy to be around. We all adore him, and he responds in kind. My youngest is looking for new roommates, more in line with the things she likes to do. We bore her with our staying home at night and lack of enthusiasm for music festivals and bluegrass.

My older daughter and son-in-law, on the other hand, find grandparents very useful. Having a built-in babysitter, and others willing to entertain said grandson is valuable. Never to be underestimated. Freeing.

We are also visiting my mother-in-law, recently widowed and 97 years old. She lives in a lovely retirement home, but as she becomes more fragile, we are waiting for that time when we will move her from her small apartment to assisted living. That time may be very soon.

We are in the post-mid part of our life. Young enough to enjoy it, and old enough to know better than to take it for granted. We watch friends our own age struggle with life-threatening illnesses, and we know that for this moment in time we are blessed. Our family intact, our health stable. But we are also sandwiched, like so many of you. Aging parents, children struggling to get a foothold in life.

All the life stages. All with beauty and uncertainty.

I guess that's what it's all about. Enjoying the ride. It careens right along, sweeping us up, moving us along, and eventually it puts us down. It's the sweet moments, the sunsets, the laughs, the kisses, that make it all worthwhile. A good reminder to pay attention to those moments. When all is said and done, it's our memories and the things we paid attention to that will determine a life well-lived ... or not.