Letting Go

July is the month for letting go, according to channeler and energy worker, Lee Harris. You can read his energy forecast for July here.  He says we may need to surround ourselves with different people. Some of our old relationships may not fit this new energy. He also refers to the nervousness and lack of settling in many people, and that we cannot fail to be affected by these energies.


Yet he reminds us -  all is well - no matter how it looks.

I have found this to be true in my own life. Some people are not, shall we say, relaxed? We need to let their stuff move on through. Most of us have enough of our own stuff without taking on their stuff, right? Letting go of the old, especially old wounds and activities that no longer serve, has been part of my personal paradigm for a while now.

Coincidentally, my husband and I have also experienced a renewal of old friendships that have been on the back burner for many years. Friendships that were almost forgotten. In one day we had three sets of old friends call and want to get together.

So what do you think that is about?

Do our friendships serve certain functions at different times in our lives? Maybe circling back around as we enter into new life stages? Could we be looking back to old friendships that may share our value systems, because many that we are around now do not? Or maybe we just want to see if the spark is still there...

You can watch Lee's forecast for 2011 here.

This is just a little reminder that it's okay to let go sometimes.

Meeting Your Mate

I have an ongoing theory that I haven't been shy about sharing with my family and friends. (With varying enthusiasm on their part, I might add.) Anyhoo, since I consider you to be in this category, I thought it was time to share my "Meeting Your Mate Theory," just in case you're in the market.

I don't believe we can find the right person to share our lives by thinking about the type of person we would like to meet. In other words, finding your mate is not about left-brained analytical theory. You can't decide he needs to have brown hair, blue eyes, stand 6.2", and make a six figure salary. Or in the case of a man - you cannot conjure up the woman who is going to love you through illness, loss of hair, and libido, by deciding she needs to look or act a certain way. The man or woman that will bring you happiness and contentment does not live in your head. They live in your heart.

So I believe the way to find your mate is to concentrate on what it feels like when you are with this person.

You do this by taking time to sit or lie quietly, relaxing deeply. Just before falling asleep is the perfect time.

Then just play with it. Play with the images that come to mind.

What are you feeling when you are with this person? If you like to hike - concentrate on what it feels like to be hiking with this person. Are you laughing? Are you both enjoying the moment? Is the sun shining? Are you relaxed and feeling content to be hiking with this person?

Time time to color in the scene. You are the artist - make it beautiful.

Now, what are you feeling in the next scene? Maybe this time you are having a meal and you are dining outside on your patio. How are you feeling? Are you relaxed and happy to be with this person? Maybe you are talking about something serious and you feel relieved that you have such an understanding person in your life to share this problem. You feel sure that his advice is well-considered as he is the type of person that really cares about you and wants to see you succeed.


The key is to not put a body or face on this person! This is about how you feel, not what you see!


My "Meeting Your Mate Theory" is all about being able to recognize the person you are meant to be with by how you are feeling when you meet them. Does that make sense? Instead of looking at someone and automatically categorizing them into a maybe or a no, you go by what your heart says when you meet someone. You already know what it is like to be with this person because your heart automatically recognizes a maybe when your brain may have automatically said no!

If you try this - make sure you give time for the Universe to organize a meeting. Be honest with yourself about how you want to feel living your life with this person. That's key.

Gearing Up

http://www.terragalleria.com/index.html

I can feel personal change in the air. My husband is antsy. He wants to get up and get moving in the morning. Usually to hike, run, bike, or run errands. A sure sign he wants to go back to work. I, on the other hand, kind of like him home to be my buddy. We have never had such a long stint at not having our whole world revolve around his job. Now I get to call the shots on things involving time that I never used to have as much input. When he works, he works really hard, and any time off needs to revolve around what he would like to do with it. It is usually only two days a week, so I have always had everything done by the weekend, on my part at least, so that time is his to choose. This has evolved over almost 29 years of marriage. Entrenched, you might say.

Now he makes my breakfast and we decide whether to go to the movies, hike, read, do the housework together, (gasp!). I don't think that has happened since we were first married and lived in a tiny apartment. We both had jobs that paid about the same, at the same company. I left to care for babies, and over the years his job changed from a nine to five to one that was at least twelve hours a day. And now I can tell he is anxious to get back. He's rested. He's been off over a year and now he's bored. He's read a mountain of books and housework is just not cutting it, I guess.

Like so many people who have outstanding resumes in this economy, the job search has been ongoing but not fruitful. We have been really lucky, moving to what once was a vacation home. Others have lost their homes, and their lives. While we have been secure, the insecurity in this country has affected us all. We look at things differently. We are aware that some people may never find work, in their field, again. That life's meaning needs to come from elsewhere in our lives. And this lesson we have learned: Don't love a job - it will not love you back. This was something my husband's first boss told him thirty years ago, and he has found those words of wisdom to be pearls. A job is a place you go to earn money to live. It deserves your undivided attention while you're there, but it doesn't deserve to rule your world. It doesn't deserve to define you. You are so much more than a job - any job, even one that rocks your boat. Remember to feed the other parts of your life. They are just as important as what you do to earn a living and will still be there for you if something happens to your business or job title.

So we wait on two possibilities. We may be able to stay here, or we move far away to a state I have never even visited. Or maybe they both fall through. That's the reality of life in America. No guarantees.

Recessional Dating

I watched Nightline last night and they had a segment on dating in the recession. I had to laugh at some of the changes, because I thought the changes were something everyone did anyway, but I guess I'm a dinosaur when it comes to dating:

• It's gosh to put on your internet dating resume that someone making less than $150,000 need not respond. Really? People actually do that?
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• Wearing all labels for a first meet is not recommended. You may want to dig through your Chanel bags for that Tiagnello you bought on a whim.
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• Asking where they will be renting in the Hamptons this summer is rude, considering many may be experiencing "Hot Town, Summer In The City" (great song!) The dating coach and matchmaker suggested asking someone what was on their summer reading list instead.
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• Don't be a "downer". This is something that has stayed the same. Even I remember a few of those dates. People are now attracted to the the glass is half full type.
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• Men expect the "fake reach" for the purse at the end of the dinner. In other words, he doesn't expect you to pay, but appreciates the gesture. 
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• Don't automatically discount the jobless. There is a bunch of those out there.

People who are dating are now are talking about finding "partners" instead of "hook-ups". Men making the requisite $150,000 have given up trolling for the "hot" chick, and instead might be thinking about someone that values them for who they are and not their checkbook. But wouldn't they have wanted that anyway? As a man, do you really think you can have a happy life with a woman that is looking for someone who makes a certain amount of money, instead of what's in your heart? 

It reminds me of a young woman I once knew who decided she was married to someone who just didn't make enough money, nor did he have a prestigious enough job title. So she divorced him, and broke up another woman's family, to have what she felt she deserved. Because she was "hot", of course, she got what she wanted. Her new husband lost his job. Now he was no longer making the big bucks, needed heart surgery, and prestige had turned into the reality of marrying an older man. Now she has divorced again, replacing him before she even left. She leaves a total of five children in her wake.

So if this recession means that people are starting to look for partners, people who can go the course in life, then maybe we will get away from the bling and back to the substantive. We can only hope.