Graduate School

We have spent the last few days in Portland, Oregon visiting our family. There is nothing better than having my small grandson light up when he sees us. I remember when his mother did the same thing many years ago. He will only be goofy about his grandparents for a short time, and before we know it, he will be too cool to show excitement when we come to visit.

We had great news while we there - our youngest received acceptance to the graduate program and school that she sincerely wanted to attend! Not an easy school to get into, we hope that the education she will receive will help her to be a great teacher someday. It's what she has always wanted to do, and I know from watching her on the soccer field she is tough enough to handle high school students. I was inspired by Obama's call to the nation to encourage our children to be teachers, something our country needs, in his State of the Union address.

I will admit that I've tried to sway her in other directions, simply because we do not take education seriously in this country. Not to mention the difficult social issues our teachers are supposed to deal with on top of teaching. Add the violence in our schools, the shootings, and there is no wonder parents are not encouraging their kids to teach. Many have master degrees, yet earn a paltry salary compared to other professions. There is no doubt they must really want to teach, to go against those odds.

So our lives will change over the next couple of years. Everyone has to make sacrifices in hopes she can start her life without massive college debt. Is there anything worse than that? Other nations don't require their kids to start their lives that way. Unless we find a way to help our young people get an education without crippling debt, the United States will continue to fall behind other countries in education. We need to stop pumping our treasure into the black hole of the Military Industrial Complex and start taking care of our citizens. 

Foot Loose and Fancy Free

My grandson survived the ten day vacation his parents took, and his grandparents survived little sleep and being crazy busy with a toddler. I'm heading home tomorrow to six inches of new snow. Yes, you can still ski at Tahoe, if you so desire. I look forward to catching up with you, as it's been hit and miss on the computer lately.

I'm also relishing the fact that I'm foot loose and fancy free. No more thinking about what a small person might be up to whenever it gets quiet and you can't see them. Only one mishap, where he tried to ride his toy down the steps outside. Of course the neighbors heard the cry and were concerned. I'm thinking, after assessing he's fine, just scared, why did this have to happen the night before they came home? He was totally unmarred for nine days...

I wonder how many hours it will take before I start missing him?

Three more sleeps!

This week with our grandson has been a true blessing. He is beyond adorable. Grandparents reading this know exactly what I mean. But he's only two, and two year olds sleep at odd angles and sometimes upside down. With that comes feet and kicking legs. These kicking legs and middle of the night waking has creating a very sleepy Gammie, who is filling in for parental units this week in the familial bed. We are now both counting down the return of vacationing parents - three more sleeps! Or not, as the case may be.

Off to the Portland Children's Museum - yawning but happy

The Battle of Wills

My husband and I are engaged in a battle of wills. The will of our two year old grandson, and our will to have him eat breakfast, wear a jacket, get his diaper changed, step back from the television, get his teeth brushed, get his hair combed, get in his stroller, not color on the table, wear clothes, ... well you get the picture. (No wonder his parents were exhausted all the time.)

He cut and run in the store yesterday while he was trying on some new shoes. I literally could not catch him! If it hadn't been for a much younger, and faster, store clerk, he could be in the neighboring county by now. Wow, a few years and I am much slower than I remember being. When did that happen?

And this is only day 3.

Good thing he is utterly charming and adorable...

Boy Handled

That's what my husband has been calling our trip to Oregon tomorrow. He tells everyone we are going to be "boy handled."

It will be an experience. Our grandson has not been apart from his mother and father for over 24 hours in any one stretch. They will leave for 10 days to Costa Rica, and we will be the care providers of a two year old firmly attached to his parents. We have no idea how he will handle this separation, but we intend to thoroughly enjoy being with him. Now that my playmate is returning to work, this will be our last getaway for a while. Luckily the new company is allowing him to work from Portland, as I would have been alone with my little guy. (It's been quite a while since I've handled a two year old all by myself.) This way his Gumpa will have some quality time before our lives become tied down once again.

In other news, my youngest will be home from Thailand on Friday. Not a moment too soon for her family. She lost her only form of money the second day she was there! Thank goodness for Western Union and Internet cafes. Maybe next time she will listen to her mother when she tells her to take two ways of accessing money while traveling.

On second thought. Probably not.

How do you not laugh?

My daughters were not supposed to tell their mother "no!" Not that they always did what they were told.... But for the most part, they were pretty good about only showing their utter and total contempt for my rule behind my back! Not so for my grandson. He is a perfect gentlemen for most of the time. Sweet and utterly adorable. But when it comes to standing two inches from the television screen, we get out the boxing gloves.

Last night my daughter and son-in-law went to a birthday party sans their two-year-old. I couldn't blame them for wanting a little time that didn't include running after him. After all, with me living in another state, these times are not always easy to come by. The other grandparents are great, but they live across town, which means scheduling way ahead. No last minute drop offs. Needless to say, when I come to town, they take full advantage of Grammy being right in the house.

Which brings me to last night. We had a wonderful night and had just drawn our first line in the sand over the television - me telling him to back off from the screen a little bit - him very firmly telling me "no, his toons!" Forcing me  to use the clicker to shut off the television. Him turning it back on ... me asking him to back up ... him saying no! ... Well, you get the picture. When his parents came home, there we were - me with the clicker, him with his eyebrows knitted, two inches from screen. The problem was keeping myself from laughing. He was so darn cute! He had absolutely no idea how tiny and vulnerable he was!

Now why couldn't they have arrived home while he was telling me how much he loved my noodles with butter and parmesan, and that he "missed" me (his version of showing how happy he was with his dinner)? Or when he woke up all sweet and warm, giving me a big hug? Oh no, it had to be knitted brows, line in the sand time....

Life Stages

http://www.terragalleria.com/index.html

We are visiting with several generations of family this week. I'm enjoying all the stages of life, from my grandson at 22 months, who is just learning to communicate, my daughter and son-in-law with all of the stresses and fun of a new family, and my youngest, fresh out of college. We are in the mix, grandparents who are semi-retired due to the worst economy in our lifetime.

My grandson is the glue. He keeps everyone entertained and always hopeful. He is a joy to be around. We all adore him, and he responds in kind. My youngest is looking for new roommates, more in line with the things she likes to do. We bore her with our staying home at night and lack of enthusiasm for music festivals and bluegrass.

My older daughter and son-in-law, on the other hand, find grandparents very useful. Having a built-in babysitter, and others willing to entertain said grandson is valuable. Never to be underestimated. Freeing.

We are also visiting my mother-in-law, recently widowed and 97 years old. She lives in a lovely retirement home, but as she becomes more fragile, we are waiting for that time when we will move her from her small apartment to assisted living. That time may be very soon.

We are in the post-mid part of our life. Young enough to enjoy it, and old enough to know better than to take it for granted. We watch friends our own age struggle with life-threatening illnesses, and we know that for this moment in time we are blessed. Our family intact, our health stable. But we are also sandwiched, like so many of you. Aging parents, children struggling to get a foothold in life.

All the life stages. All with beauty and uncertainty.

I guess that's what it's all about. Enjoying the ride. It careens right along, sweeping us up, moving us along, and eventually it puts us down. It's the sweet moments, the sunsets, the laughs, the kisses, that make it all worthwhile. A good reminder to pay attention to those moments. When all is said and done, it's our memories and the things we paid attention to that will determine a life well-lived ... or not.

It Was A Hit

The reaction was exactly what I thought it might be! My grandson loved his gift of music! He's only sixteen months old, but for some reason, he loves all kinds of music and as soon as I put it on, he wanted up. He immediately put his head on my shoulder and snuggled in for some music and dancing with his grandma. Of course, if you wear out and need to pass him off, he does the exact same thing with the next person. It's like he goes into another world, and likes nothing better than to listen and be close! He never seems to tire of the exercise. Only problem is the dancer part of the exercise is the only one getting any. He's getting a bit big and feels like a warm little sack of potatoes. But, honestly, - do I really have anything better to do than dance with my grandson? Can there be anything better? And exactly how long do you think I have, before this is something he will be way too cool for?

On another note, for those of you who have heard the story of mat, liz, and madeline, they will be on Oprah today. For those of you that have not heard the story, it is a sad one. Mat and Liz had their first baby a year ago, but Liz died the next day. The blog is done by Mat as he struggled to care for his newborn and grieve for his wife. He took tons of pictures and I've followed it from day one. It is sad, happy, funny at times, and very soulful. You can't help but love Madeline and respect Mat. They have been in People Magazine and even on Rachael Ray. 

It is a "count your blessings" kind of story. 

Partial Playlist

Thanks for the positive feedback on my little project. If you might be thinking of doing something similar, I would just like to suggest the little Shuffle as the way to go if you have something to plug it into. It holds 250 songs and is just $49. It's too small, however, to plug into a regular I-Pod docking station or speaker system. It's meant to be used with headphones. By the time you add all the things you need to get it to work with a speaker system, you might as well buy the Nano, which fits most everything that will fit an I-Pod. If you have a working stereo, however, the little Shuffle will work with some additional wiring, or so they said. I wanted to keep the system simple, as I have found busy parents don't always have time, or remember to charge things, or turn them on for that matter, if they're a hassle. It's just the way it is when you have a million things to do in a day. So while this Easter gift is a bit expensive, I believe the benefit will outweigh the cost. Now for the partial playlist:

Nursery rhymes - There were several that I used but Baby Genius seemed to have the clarity of sound that I wanted for a toddler. The music was pretty and simple, the pace slow, for a toddler to learn the words. My First Album had beautiful rhymes with full orchestra behind the singing. Lovely to listen to, especially when children's rhymes are so repetitive. I added all the rhymes I could find that were preschool age.

Classical - I love Mozart, so I added some from Mental Mozart. Smart Baby had some selections using the London Orchestra. I added a number by Chopin, Vivaldi and Beethoven that I found on Baby Genius. (Could the names of these cd's be any more pretentious?)

Sing-a-long - This was the majority of my playlist. Raffi is wonderful and I had several selections by him. Dan Zanes is also very good. This music is fun and the songs are learnable, but not the sing-song of nursery rhymes. I added two that were suggested by one of you by Renee & Jeremy. Thanks for the tip!

Jazz - I love jazz, so while these selections are geared toward children, I will add my own music as he gets older. Baby Loves Jazz had several selections that I liked. George Benson actually had some children's music, and I selected one by him.

Rock - Railroad Earth is his favorite. It must be because his aunt (my youngest) always dances with him to this band, and ends up putting him to sleep. All I know is, if he is fussy, all you have to do is put on Railroad Earth! Love Of My Life, by Carly Simon was a must. But I also threw in an old Dell Viking number. What's a playlist without a little rock-n-roll? Also, the Coconut song by Harry Nilsson, for a little cool vibe...

African - He received a drum for his birthday from his parents. They are not very hep on plastic toys. So we needed some African drum music. African Savannah Morning by Baby Genius was terrific. 

Reggae - He lives in Portland, Oregon - need I say more? Jammin by Bob Marley!

The rest of the playlist includes songs by Peter, Paul, & Mary, that my husband sang to our daughters at bedtime, Disney Classics from all the favorite movies, and anything else that struck my fancy. Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland is a must for bedtime, don't you think? It was fun to do this, and I would highly recommend it for grandchildren. You can never underestimate the power of passive learning.

The Nano

I have had time to do some things over the last couple of days. My husband is with family taking care of details, and his mother, after the death of his father. Since he needed to be on a plane that day, I stayed home with Lucy. His father did not want a funeral, and asked that his ashes be spread over Crown Mountain in Montana, where they had a cabin for many years. My husband will make this journey and hike, when the weather mellows.

In the meantime, I have been wanting to put together music for my grandson. Like all grandmothers, I believe him to be very bright and talented. He loves music! From day one, he could be soothed with music or just singing to him. He now sings to himself, with his current favorite being row, row, row your boat. He walks around singing "row, row", or "hap birrr day". Music can influence us in so many ways. My daughter and son-in-law do not currently have a working stereo, so the only music he hears is from the television. From a developmental point of view, this has been bothering me. We know that certain connections for music are made before age ten, with an explosion of connections in the brain by age two. 

So after looking at different ways of producing the types of music for him that I think is important, I decided a little Apple Nano will fill the bill. My daughter has an I-Pod stand with speakers. So yesterday I filled an entire day choosing just the right combination of music that I think he will enjoy, and learn from. I tried to include music from as many genres as possible. We have jazz, classical, rock, soul, African, American Indian flute, reggae, pop, and show tunes, all for children. Who knew the choices for each song would be so vast! And since I wanted each one to produce a certain "sound", i.e., the nursery rhyme songs to be clear and easy, and the lullabies to be varied between classical music and songs sung very softly, it required me to listen to all the different variations and musicians. It took all day to find 100 songs! But I am now satisfied that he will have his "own" music, carefully selected, to keep him company as he plays, or is going to sleep. Included is a selection by Taj Mahal aptly titled "Ask Grandma".

Glam-mas

This article caught my attention because the topic has come up more than once lately. There seems to be two camps when it comes to grandparenting. Those that want to be fully involved in their grandchildren's lives, and those that only want occasional interaction. I'm not going to attempt to sway one way or the other. I do know that families that share a certain amount of childcare tend to feel less stress. I can remember when my children were young not having anyone to share the load very often. My mother died when I was young, my father not long after the birth of my second child. My in-laws were not the type to want the children for anything other than observing, nothing hands-on. So from a personal point of view, I know how hard it is when you do not have grandparents that want to be with their grandchildren.

My daughter e-mailed me yesterday to ask about a certain week in June. I knew it was not probably something that involved fun with me. No, it was as expected, would we be available to watch our grandson so they could have a get-a-way. Of course, I said yes. One caveat - we wanted him here in our home, not in theirs. That is for two reasons. One, I want him comfortable in our home, since we live so far away. And two, he needs a vacation, too! Children get tired of looking at the same things, playing with the same toys, and need stimulus. My feeling is that we can do things with him here that involve the beach, mountains, and walks in the woods. Since he doesn't sleep in his crib, he can just sleep with us. (Yes, I know, he should sleep in his crib, but since I never was very good at getting my children to do that, I will not lecture.)  In other words, we want hands-on time with him. I guess we're not Glam-mas, or Glam-pas.  What about you? Do you have grandchildren? Which camp are you in?