Sunday, November 6, 2016

Heading Home

It has been a whole year since I've been to Tahoe.  It was October of last year that we left for Portland, intending to move more of our life to the city closest to our children. At that time I started an Intention Board (previous post) for a boat to keep in the San Juan Islands. Our intention was to sell Tahoe and take up a new adventure. Well, that didn't happen. We're actually quite grateful that we are not now worrying about how to take care of a boat as our life circumstances changed. Living in two places is difficult enough.

I look forward to seeing old friends, having lunches and dinners with people I've known most of my life. It's been hard going through what we have without the benefit of friends and family. We are lucky to have a couple of old friends in Portland full time, and a few friends that pass through when they are visiting their children that live here. But, for the most part, we depend on each other for social interaction. Great until one of you gets sick, and the other one needs use a shoulder to cry on, or a giant glass of wine over lunch. Our daughters are great, but they are dealing with their own issues with their father being sick. And they are busy with their own lives, which is how it should be.

So we're heading back to Nevada tomorrow. I look forward to the creek behind our condo and the smell of pine in the thin mountain air. Rich is feeling great and nearly back to his old self. He was unable to continue chemo because he just couldn't tolerate it. The doctor sent him home and told him to enjoy his life and bring back pictures. What this will mean in the long run is uncertain. But then, everything about this disease is uncertain. His tumor was unmethelated, which means the chemo was not going to be as effective, and since he literally quit eating and drinking for several weeks, it was clear he would not survive the "cure."

So we live in the moment, day by day. And tomorrow we're going home!

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Glioblastoma IV

It has been some time since I've written here. I know my blogging friends have moved along, many no longer blogging themselves, but I have a renewed interest in writing my thoughts. Long gone are the days when I had nothing more to worry about than what would be an interesting topic for my blogging friends. Instead, I find myself caught up in life and death issues far sooner than ever expected.

My husband was diagnosed with Glioblastoma IV in May, 2016. After a surgery that removed the mass from the right side of his brain, he was left with radiation and chemotherapy. It has now been five months and we are no longer able to plan years ahead, instead we plan only weeks ahead.

Glioblastoma IV is essentially a death sentence. Only 3-5% of patients live longer than 12-15 months. Of course, like so many others, we intend to be in that 3-5%.

I've finally given into Facebook because they have several support groups for this unfortunate disease. I find myself hanging around the only people that understand just exactly what this disease is, and can do, to the people you love the most. It takes everything from the victim long before it takes their life.

So I may use this forum for myself. To vent, to cry, but more importantly to connect with my writing once again.

I have a feeling I'm going to need it.