Friday, April 3, 2009

In that Moment...


I was trying to have a conversation with my daughter today while her toddler bounced around the room, either hurting himself or getting into something he shouldn't. The conversation was about trying to hang on in this economy. Her husband has a lucrative sales job that is not as lucrative as it was last year. Like most young families, she is trying to stretch herself and their resources, to make ends meet. In between picking him up to kiss an owie and tell him to get off/out of something, she sounded harried and exhausted, but also strangely happy.

I started thinking about happiness. How you can always be happy if you are in the moment. By that I mean, just taking a small second to be aware of all the good that is around you. Just right at that very moment. 

I remember finding out I had a brain tumor. I was 33 years old, with a six year old daughter, and one eighteen months. My mother had died when I was six, so this year of my daughter's life was very poignant for me. 

It came out of the blue - one minute I was just fine - swimming a mile a day in the community pool and the next I was on my way to LA for some serious surgery. I was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma - which is a tumor wrapped around the acoustic nerve on the brainstem side. It was thought to be benign, but not in a good location, and rather large in size. In the end, I lost my hearing on one side, my face was temporarily and completely paralyzed on one side, one eye not tearing at all. I had to wear this ugly eye patch that was see-through. To say I was odd looking is an understatement! But whenever I started to feel sorry for myself, in that moment, all I could feel was incredibly lucky! Lucky to be alive, lucky to have a beautiful family, an incredible husband, to have a future. There were so many others dealing with so much more. So, because it was so easy to feel sorry for myself, and my family needed me to be strong, I tried to stay in the moment as much as possible. It really was the only way to get through it and recover. 

I sensed my daughter doing that today. She was busy, harassed, worried. But then her son would do something endearing or funny. And in that exact moment she was happy. Nothing else mattered.

68 comments:

Daisy said...

The picture of your beautiful dogs illustrates so well "being in the moment". They are such good spiritual guides! I hope you enjoy good health and your grandchildren for many generations!
Barbara, for Daisy

Natalie said...

Exactly! I believe happiness is a tapestry woven together of little such moments. Great post.x

nollyposh said...

Hello X:-) Just found your lovely blog via "Blog of note" only to find dear Natalie here X:-) Hey girl! Just wanted to say that i really enjoyed this little post and the one about your Father-in-law was most tender Thankyou X:-) and if i may i will pop back again X:-) Vicki x

Deedee said...

I love the photo of the dos swimming. I agree that happiness is in the smallest details. Have a wonderful weekend!

Deedee said...

dogs, that is :)

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Don't you think the financial struggle we are all currently going through makes us all stop and appreciate what we do have?

Pagani said...

I am very much interested in living in the present. Dogs do it. Cats do it. People... not so much. When I was younger I had many excuses for focusing on the future. Now... well, it seems like a waste of time.

BUT... it's easier said than done.

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Love the picture of the dogd, it epitomises keeping going. I had a 22yr oldcousin who died of a brain tumor and we all lived in the day as it was happening to our close knit family. So I understand on both fronts what you went through and what you are advocating. I couldn't agree more.

Beatriz Kim said...

Happiness can be elusive at times. However, living in the moment, we can appreciate the small pleasures in life. Smiling a little, is definitely better than none. I'm an occupational therapist with 12 years experience. I wrote on "how to be in the moment"...on my blog...http://therapeuticinspirations.blogspot.com/
I hope you find it helpful...I do.

Have a great weekend!

Nancy said...

What a great story, thank you for sharing that! I really needed to hear it today!

willow said...

Thank you for the inspiration! Carpe Diem, right?

Wonderful swimming doggies pic.

willow said...

...and I forgot to congratulate you on being chosen as a Blog of Note!!! Be prepared for a boatload of visitors! :D

TinG_Go said...

I think, a lot of times, we take things for granted.
This recession may help everyone to wake up and really appreciate what we have.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful article and picture...

Wenny said...

Congrats on being voted "The Blog of Note" which how I've stumbled upon your blog.

It's a wonderful read. I am so much into trying to practice what you've been doing, conscious living in the present. Your blog will be a constant reminder for me to appreciate the moment.

Thank you.

Jo said...

Congratulations on being chosen as a Blog of Note. Batten down the hatches. *heh* You deserve it. Good for you!

And what a wonderful story. I'm glad to hear you're okay now. The title of your blog "Life in the Second Half" says it all.

Natalie said...

Wow, have just realised that you have been chosen as Blog of Note! Congratulations, very well deserved accolade ~ your blog is fabby. :D
You probably will be snowed under now ~ lots of happy moments in store!xx♥

introspection said...

Very poignant yet grand post. I came here from Blog of Note. Congats. you really deserve. Your daughter has inherited your positive way of thinking. When one laerns of these incidents one realises how important it is to savour what you have instead of worrying about what you dont. As they say "some people are grateful for roses, while others complain about thorns".
Cheers..!

Rand Launer said...

It seems like those moments of peace or happiness or fullfillment or something start getting closer together, even joining up if you try to notice them. Like berry picking. At first you can't find any. Then you keep looking and find a whole bunch. Every once in awhile you get a whole pie.

Lover of Life said...

Daisy/Barbara - Hi - I can see you love dogs, too. What a cutie you have.

Natalie - All those moments are so precious.

Nolly - Thanks for stopping by and noticing the one on my father-in-law. Somehow when we write straight from the heart - it always works, doesn't it?

Deedee - Thanks!

Kathy - Indeed, I do!

Pagani - It is one of the hardest things to do, I think.

Brit Gal - Thanks. Brain tumors are so insidious. I am so sorry about your cousin! It was people like her that wouldn't allow me to feel too sorry for myself.

Beatriz - I will stop by and read it! Thanks.

Willow - Thanks for the congrats - not sure why I was picked??

Nancy - Isn't that the great thing about blogs? We just happen in on something that someone wrote that works for us at that moment. It happens all the time to me.

TinG - I think we are changed, no doubt. For me, it is for the better.

Wenny - Thanks for the congrats and stopping by. It's hard to do - but so worth it. It's all we have, really.

Jo - Hi - I think that's how I found you.

Natalie - Thanks. Not really snowed under. Never too busy to visit you!

Roshni said...

It was a really good for me to go through your blog. It's strange but sometimes it's during these times of trials that we find happiness. Thanks for sharing this wonderful experience of yours. May God bless and keep your family happy. :)

blessingsgoddess said...

Congratulations on your excellent blog; the picture of the dogs is great as well.

The villager: said...

I'm sure others will benefit from sharing your experiences in this splendid blog.

Miss Mapp said...

Thank you for sharing this. You sound a real strong person, good to be around. Wishing you all you hope for.MM

akey87 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
akey87 said...

yeah..family always make us calm, happy etc..in any situation that we face, family will always the first things come to us..:) It was great post..:)

akey87 said...

i hope the dog in the pic, can swim..:D

Hilary said...

No doubt your positive outlook has a strong influence on your daughter. Wonderful post with a much needed reminder.

Congrats on appearing in Blogs of Note. It's going to be a very busy blog life for a while! :)

A Darbha said...

Hi,

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. Your experiences seems to be very profound and a reader like me can easily relate to it.

I am just half of your age, but I can relate to you just as I relate to my parents and my two month old daughter.

My daughter's wisdom is expressed in her innocence; she lives in present all the time. And its really great to be with her all the time. :)

Thank you for posting.

With Love
A Darbha

मोगरा फुलला said...

Congratulations, you are in Blogs of Note.

Moys said...

Found your blog tonight and love your philosophy on life.
Take Care
Moys **A Kiwi**

Tediber said...

i so love your blog! and so with ur dogs!haha i wanna keep them.

Sourav Ray said...

Thank you so much for sharing this!

When things aren't at their best, its as easy as pie to get sucked into a web of negativity. You need the right attitude to fight it. You've really led the battle by example. Kudos to you and thanks again.

Just discovered your blog. Looks like I'll have to keep coming back.

Concord Carpenter said...

Your daughter had a good teacher!

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Australia. I came here from Sandi McBride's site, Holding Pattern.

This is a post that speaks to everyone, of every age group.

lolit said...

your post made me think more of how life should be valued.a sort of retrospection.
keep your spirit high always,for all you know it is an inspirations to others.

Butternut Squash said...

Oh my gosh. You're the blog of note! Congratulations. This was a wonderful post. Very uplifting and positive. Peace.

Herrad said...

Hi

Just found you, the post about your op is so very moving.

Very much believe in being here and now and enjoying everything you can.

Think that for me as for you there was no choice.

Love,
Herrad

Bogey said...

A great reminder to many of us who forget about the important things in life. Although we spend much of our time living in the moment, our brains are focused on other distractions. If we somehow forget to capture that "moment" it becomes nothing more than a forgotten memory.

LeighArt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LeighArt said...

Congrats on the Blogs of Note. What a lovely Motto, my Motto is Too Life Live, and a reoccuring New Years Resolution which like you helps you to continue on. I wish you well. All the best.....

Pepsy. said...

Awww, great post.

Mags said...

Wow very moving and touching story. It def. show that you gottta live life like everyday is your last. And when you think you have got it bad just know that it could be worse. Wish you and your family the best of all things.

http://fromnewyorktoyou.blogspot.com

Rain said...

I'm also in the next stage of my life and looking forward to every day as it arrives. I've learned to live in the moment because anything more is too stressful. That photo of your dogs swimming is so great! I have 2 pugs, they make life so much more fun - although they are too "dainty" for swimming, in fact, they don't even like to get their little toes wet in the rain, lol. Congrats on being Blog of Note!

CrazyCris said...

My Dad and I always say that happiness is a state of mine. If you truly want to be happy you can, just live in the moment and enjoy the wonderful things that fill your life as they happen! (and don't dwell on the unpleasant ones).

Very interesting blog you've got here! And Congratulations on being chosen as a "Blog of Note"! :o)

snakeking09 said...

I'm a new blogger and I'm trying to share something in my blog, I'm so suprised about your blog, It's very nice, I like it.
I think you are an full power woman, I try to learning about you.
Today is a day holiday of my country (VietNam),In my country, everybody is often send other wishes to friend and family.
I wish you always young, nice and get what you like.

believingisnotseeing said...

I love your picture, and your blog is really captivating. i really enjoyed it.

jae! said...

I just stumbled upon your blog and I loved what you said and I, too believe in living the moment. Sometimes life is so hectic that we don't realize or recognize the little things around that makes life, life. We get so concerned about materialistic goods, our appearance and what others think about us that we forget how to value ourselves. I think this recession allows a lot of people to rethink and revalue their life. Hopefully, someday we can look back and regard this as a blessing in disguise :)

Cheers, J.

larsarazu said...

test

PP said...

SUCH cute dogs

PeacefulWmn9 said...

This is so true, and isn't it a beautiful way to live life?

Karen

Jeninacide said...

I think being able to live in the moment is an incredible blessing. I thank my son every day for giving me that gift!

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girl. said...

i enjoyed reading your posts!!

Lori ann said...

YaY! Congratulations on Blog of Note! wonderful,and so true! What a moving post,full of love. Yes,here's to good health♥
xoxoxo

sara said...

thank you so much for reminding me of the good moments in life when everythings seems to be going off the charts...i would love to know someone like you, you remind me alot of my dad...i hope you have many happy years with your family and keep that smile up!

ebed_adonai said...

Hi ^_^

What an encouraging story you got there....

By the way, how did you train your dogs to swim like that ^_^? Very funny picture indeed...

Thanks

(Shalom!)

Robin said...

I love this inspiring post; I am someone who has to make a huge effort to stay focused in the moment. It is more intuitive for me to plan, to worry......which distracts me from the happiness I could easily have right "now".

Ruby

KarinH said...

Congratulations on being Blog of Note.

...you have captured the essence of being happy in the moment beautifully.

Lover of Life said...

Intro - Love your quote.

Rand - Ditto for your analogy about berry picking!

Roshni - So true - blessings to you, as well.

blessingsgoddess - Thank you!

The Village - Thank you, too!

Miss Mapp - Thank you, strength comes and goes.

Hilary - Thanks, so much. I read where someone was picked twice - and wondered if it was you?

A Darhba - Living in the moment is something I wish I would have known about at your age. You will be much further evolved by the time you are my age. Love your baby - she will grow so fast.

arabic writing? - Sorry can't read the name, so I will just say - thank you for visiting.

Moys - Thank you!

Tediber - Thank you - they are very sweet animals.

Sourav - I am sucked in constantly. It is truly a battle.

Concord - Thank you very much, I hope so.

david - Thanks for stopping by from Sandi's wonderful blog.

lolit - Thank you, people like you help me to do that.

Butternut - Hi - will wonders never cease?

Herrad - You're right - sometimes there is no other choice, is there?

Bogey - So so true! It reminds me of that Kenny Chesney song "Blink".

Leigh - You have a great blog name.

Pepsy - Thank you - love your name!

Mags - So very true.

Rain - I love pugs!

Crazy - You and your Dad sound like very wise people. Happiness is a state of mind, for sure.

snake - Thank you so much for your very kind wishes. I send them back to you with love.

lars - test?

PP - Thank you - they are a handful, that's for sure!

Peaceful - Love your blog name!

Jenin - I know just how a baby can do that!

Mohamed - Thank you

Girl - Thank you

Lori - Thank you - your blog continues to be an inspiration to me to stay in the moment.

sara - Thank you so much, what a beautiful thing to say.

believing - Thanks so much.

jae! - I really believe this recession is a blessing. We were living out of control. I, for one, do not want to live in a world any longer that depends on consumption for it's economy.

Ebed - LOL - They're labs - most love the water almost more than their kibble.

Robin - I struggle with it constantly!

Karin - Thank you so much.



akey87 - LOL - The dogs are labs. Born to swim! Tahoe water is freezing, and our lab will swim in the winter, if we let her.

webwatcher said...

hi! congratulations for being chosen as blogs of note. That's why i've discovered ur site.

I think u have a way of reaching out personally to people. at least to me, i'm from the philippines by the way.

absolutely true, it is in the moment that we are able to find happiness. if only, we keep it in mind so much so we don't get sidetracked by negative emotions.

Cindy said...

Hi, I found you on blogs of note. It's no wonder there have already ben 59 comments on this post. You've really identified something meaningful that people can relate too. I'm also trying to blog about simplifying your life and finding prosperity outside of financial wealth. I appreciate your kind thoughts and will take them to heart.

Relax Sense said...

wow so cute dog

Patch said...

Wow. The first time I glance at the "Blogs of Note" I find my new favorite blog! Being just a kid, I don't have the words to explain how incredible that post was for me, but I'll try.
I recently lost my cousin. I didn't know him very well (I was just a baby when I met him), but still am hurt from the loss. He was scuba diving, and had a heart attack. He said it was the most fun he'd ever had. He was living in the moment. He couldn't in the next.
This is your first post I've read, and I'm already going to follow your blog!! Thank you so much.

-Patch :-)

Sniffles and Smiles said...

There is NO question that you are POTD material!!!!!!!!!!!! What an absolutely inspiring post!!! Thank you! I loved this and your blog! Cheers!

Eddie Bluelights said...

What a touching post. And many congratulations on David's POTD.
I will be back to read more if I may. Eddie

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Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

My sister had an acoustic neuroma removed and although she has lost most of the hearing in her ear, she was fortunate to not lose her facial nerve. She does suffer terribly with headaches, though.

My family is prone to tumors with my mom and one brother with cholestiatomas. I have Menier's disease. My brother is deaf in his left ear; me in my right. My mom in her left and my sister in her right. I have really bad balance because I lost a balance nerve; my sister also lost her balance nerve.

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