Thursday, April 2, 2009

Midlife Shuffle, Contd.

So do you think the weirdness of these days are because of our age? Or is it because of our age relative to our economic and social upheaval? Many of us are not exactly doing what we thought we would be doing at this stage of our lives. Or would we be going through this shuffle of our friends, priorities, likes, dislikes, tolerances, world view, anyway? I remember my father becoming less social and more alone during a stage in his midlife - and I thought it strange at the time. But the literature says this is often the case - more alone time, self-assessment, less patience for bs. But also a marvelous love of each moment, nature, animals, a heart brimming for all the magnificence in this world. Reconnecting with old friends. I'm reading a wonderful book recommended by a fellow blogger. Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart". Seems timely. She has others that I will read, also. So is this a time when we decide how we want the last years of our lives to look?

P.S. Thank you to Chic Geek for the award - all about that tomorrow!

27 comments:

Jeninacide said...

I think we are standing on the precipice of the Age of Aquarius. The enlightenment is spreading- like Eckhart Tolle says- you can't stop the process once it starts happening. I think everyone is catching on- not just older people.

Natalie said...

yes, there is definitely something going on.Personally, I feel all those things you mentioned, and have found it really strange. Always a social butterfly, I now prefer to watch a butterfly land on the flowers outside.xx

TheChicGeek said...

You're welcome! You deserve it!

I think as we get older we get "feisty." We're not afraid to just be who we are and that's a beautiful thing. Maybe we didn't fulfill all of our dreams but I think we appreciate the fact that time flies and we want to make the very most of every moment we have left.

Chel said...

There's this phenomenon that's been going around for a couple of years that the people in my generation have been feeling called "the quarter life crisis" and it actually describes the same thing you are talking about in midlife and I wonder if this means we're getting it out early or we'll experience this self-assessment twice (or maybe always?).

Voice said...

When we live our lives, we should know that we could die at any moment. We should be worried in what we have done (and have not done). We should be glad for the little things that life seems to give us and be happy for what it doesn't give us. When we live our lives, we should not worry about the morrow, we should do want we would have worried about later.

Ralph Suarez said...

WOW! Lightning strikes. Coincidence (or not a coincidence) that I find today's blog of note, putting words to so many of the thoughts that have been weighing on my mind lately? It's not an identity crisis...it's kind of like embracing the identity that I have been running away from, all of my life. I am reading AN AMERICAN LIFE and something Ronald Reagan writes in the first few pages caught my attention: "I've often wondered at how lives are shaped by what seem like small and inconsequential events, how an apparently random turn in the road can lead you a long way from where you intended to go--and a long way from wherever you expected to go." Congratulations on being named blog of note today. I am glad for that, as I would not have discovered your blog.

danny boy said...

it may be related to a slow but inexorable realisation thay we are a part of nature not so special as to be different from it. we recognise the underlyingly vacuous nature of our lives and with a subconscious calm and tacit acceptance of this, we begin to appreciate all of the innate beauty and harmony of life, all life, knowing that we will probably not pass this way again. youth isnt made for such understanding. youth is made to ensure we continue as a species, once their role is fulfilled, then they move onto the next stage, as you seem to have done. nice question.

Thehealthguy said...

I really can relate, though, I'm just a bit shy of 50. I'll actually be 49 in August, but someone just enlightened me- I'll be starting my 50th year then. All of a sudden, I started to really think about my age. I just joined on here, but I'll be looking for more of your thoughts. Thanks, and have a blessed day.

Lady of Words said...

Your picture of Lake Tahoe caught my eye as I had just written about Nevada and its beauty. As an octogenarian I can tell you enjoy the trip through life as it only gets better.

Andrea said...

I can relate to the more alone time. My husband and I seem to look forward to the weekends - not for all the stuff we want to do but for just staying home and relaxing! I have never appreciated relaxation so much in my life.

I notice that you are reading "Bridge of Sighs." I just finished Russo's "Empire Falls" - very interesting.

And, congratulations for being Bloggers "Blog of Note" today!

todd vodka said...

Sometimes when I hear sentiments like the one you expressed in this post it instills a deep worry in me for others.
I don't know where it came from, but when I was a little boy I had an extremely clear premonition that I would never live to be older than 25. These days are sometimes like chapters pasted from the wrong book.

Lover of Life said...

Jeninacide - It is very possible that this is an "awakening". If it is? How exciting!

Natalie - You feel it, too? I love the analogy of the butterfly.

Chic - Feisty is definitely a good word to describe me and others I know! All we really have is the moment, isn't it?

Chel - Thanks for stopping by - I think it is possible you will go through this reevaluation more than once in your life. The one I am going through right now feels strange because the world is rocking at the same time.

Voice - Thanks for stopping by - Beautifully said. I totally agree that we should live our lives as if we could die tomorrow. One of the exercises in my Death & Dying class in college had each of us lie down, cross our arms over our chest, and pretend it was our funeral. Then listen to what the people at your funeral were saying...

Ralph - Thank you so much - I'm so glad you stopped by as well. How many times do we hit a fork in the road, and the path we chose lead in a direction we couldn't comprehend before we started the journey? What makes us choose that particular path?

Danny - Wow! Very good thought on youth and it's primary objective - to ensure the perpetuation of the species - only then do we move on to other stages. This could be a blog in itself! Thanks for stopping by.

Thehealthguy - Yes, I do believe the next decade of your life will be different than the one you are in right now. But better in many ways! Thanks for your comment.

Lady - Please come back - I would love to hear more of what you have to say! I'm sure you have much to teach us. Thanks for stopping by.

Andrea - My husband and I like being home more than ever. We just enjoy the tiny little comforts now that our lives have slowed down. Grateful to have our little nest.

Todd - Did you lose a parent at an early age? My mother died when I was six and I have always felt I'm living on borrowed time. Thanks for stopping by.

Amy @ Passages to the Past said...

YEAH!!! You're the Blog of Note today!!! How cool is that!? Congrats!

remember moments said...

Congratulations on being Blog of Note today!

KingJC said...

Well, reading all the comments makes one truly feel there are so many that feel very similar to what you feel. Most times we don't talk about certain things and how one feels, but boy I feel great today and I'm stress free even in these harsh times. So as long as I have a breath, I'm going to enjoy every minute of the beginning of the rest of my life.
I'm also trying something new, so should you...whatever it might be.
http://www.amc-usa.com/info

Indrani said...

After reading your experiences I feel I must stop complaining about the little problems of life. This was so well told.

Congrats on 'Blog of Note'! :)

Schehezerade said...

I think all we have are our moments of realization - the moments we realize that life is very precious, that nothing matters more than life. In the moment that we realize that, in that moment, we are truly filled with gratitude, and understand what our lives, and the lives of others, are really worth.

Lover of Life said...

Amy - Thank you!

Remember - Thank you, also!

King - I'm really glad we are starting to talk about it. What are the new things you are trying?

Indrani - Thank you for the congrats. I think complaining is really okay - as long as we compartmentalize those feelings, and don't allow ourselves to become obsessed by them. Don't you?

Shehe - Those moments are stunning in their clarity, aren't they?

dragonflydreamer said...

I can definitely relate to this post. At this stage of my life, I am really examining my past choices and deciding to learn to live in the moment more and more. The recent death of my 44 year old friend since highschool really put me in touch with my mortaility and what I want to do before my journey here on earth is over. How do I want to be remembered and even more what can I leave my sons to help them live full and meaningful lives. So glad to have found your blog on "Blogs of Note" especially since this is the first time I've ever clicked on that link. No coincidence. Love your blog!

Arcadia said...

Hi,
As we live our lives, we should know that we could die at any moment. And we should think where we will go, after that!

Thank you!
About me, you and... everyone else!

What is love?

I Heart BOYS!!! said...

br /br /this is amazing http://www.real-wishes.com br /br /


br /br /a href="http://www.real-wishes.com" title=" wishes " name=" wishes "img style="border: ridge 4px yellow;" src="http://www.real-wishes.com/images/wish-3.jpg" alt=" wishes " title=" wishes "/br / wishes /a br /br

I Heart BOYS!!! said...

br /br /this is amazing http://www.real-wishes.combr /br /

br /br /a href="http://www.real-wishes.com" title=" make a wish " name=" make a wish "img style="border: ridge 4px yellow;" src="http://www.real-wishes.com/images/wish-3.jpg" alt=" make a wish " title=" make a wish "/br / make a wish /abr /br /

critterlover said...

I love your blog. Your thoughts hit right where I am today. I think you're right, we do get a bit feisty and more willing to do or say what we might not have had the guts to earlier in life. As a new empty nester I'm working at trying to find "life in the second half" as well. Thanks for your posts.

KingJC said...

Hi Lover of Life, one of the new things I am trying is to get my own home base business up and running. I started recently and I would like to help myself and other become a little more financially independent. It all boils down to helping others get what they want and it will truly help you get something special.

For a free booklet on what I am trying go to
http://www.amc-usa.com/info
Enter code 185521

MADATTHEW09D said...

love yor blog you shud check mines out its kinda crazy but it help people who are pissed

I Heart BOYS!!! said...

check out real-wishes.com

br /br /a href="http://www.real-wishes.com" title=" wish " name=" wish "img style="border: ridge 4px yellow;" src="http://www.real-wishes.com/images/wish-3.jpg" alt=" wish " title=" wish "/br / wish /abr /br /

ed said...

情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品.情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,視訊聊天室

麻將,台灣彩卷,六合彩開獎號碼,運動彩卷,六合彩,遊戲,線上遊戲,cs online,搓麻將,矽谷麻將,明星三缺一, 橘子町,麻將大悶鍋,台客麻將,公博,game,,中華職棒,麗的線上小遊戲,國士無雙麻將,麻將館,賭博遊戲,威力彩,威力彩開獎號碼,龍龍運動網,史萊姆,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆第一個家,史萊姆好玩遊戲區,樂透彩開獎號碼,遊戲天堂,天堂,好玩遊戲,遊戲基地,無料遊戲王,好玩遊戲區,麻將遊戲,好玩遊戲區,小遊戲,電玩快打

情趣用品,情趣,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情竹園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,色情影片,情趣內衣,情趣睡衣,性感睡衣,情趣商品,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室 ,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080苗栗人聊天室,080聊天室,視訊交友網,視訊

借錢,黃金,黃金回收,黃金價格,黃金買賣,當舖

A片,A片,成人網站,成人影片,色情,情色網,情色,AV,AV女優,成人影城,成人,色情A片,日本AV,免費成人影片,成人影片,SEX,免費A片,A片下載,免費A片下載,做愛,情色A片,色情影片,H漫,A漫,18成人

a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載,成人網站,做愛,自拍