Has anyone else noticed how weird interpersonal relationships are these days? It seems like there is very little padding on those nerve bundles. I've had some experiences lately where I thought - "Ouch! Did they just say that??" My husband has had his own stories to tell, and they all seem to involve how we are interfacing with each other. Stress levels are soaring, and thoughts seem to be transmitted at warp speed. No way to hide negative, anxious, or angry feelings. It's like our intentions have a life of their own - what we are thinking about someone is revealed almost instantly.
Maybe its a good time to realize this all is Kabuki Theatre. We're acting out and there are lessons to be learned. With each interaction there is something on both sides to be acknowledged, changed, incorporated, negated, embraced or learned from. If nothing else it might be to never treat anyone else the way this person is treating me right now.
Maybe now is the time to think with the heart and not with the mind. Ask ourselves - "what does my heart say?" It will probably be a very different answer from my mind/ego.
I guess figuring out that it's better to be happy, than right, is probably essential in this process. Even if it involves walking around in an imaginary padded suit.
18 comments:
Oh, I so agree - better to be happy than right:):) Along the lines of people being stressed out, I launched a non-profit last year to help people relax and share techniques to reduce their stress...I blogged about it today:)
I'd much rather not be stressed but the world we live in doesn't often help! Plus, I think there's so much competition in the world today, especially with blogging and social interaction.
CJ xx
yeah, got my suit out this morning - padding is a bit warm - but so is my heart [well, most of the time and i try for ALL of the time] but you are right - it - whatever "it" is - seems very pervasive of late - very -
by the way, on your elephant comment over at synch earlier, i left a little response for you about the magnificent photography of gregory colbert found at http://www.ashesandsnow.org/
i'm sure you're familiar with his fantastic work, but just in case......
have a great day, nancy!
I hear you, Nancy. It's interesting to me how fragile and vulnerable I feel when I think someone has unkind opinions about me and wonder...
But then again, I am so blessed to have my blogging friends who show me that I am not alone here in the universe. Thank you for this post.
I get caught in a thought: "How low, and how many times more, am I supposed to bend (until this attack is over)?" and, sometimes I explode. And then, I regret it.
On the other side, the constant pretend does not seem right to me either. Pretend you like it, pretend you accept the idea, pretend you agree with the masses. Pretend in order to keep appearances.
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Very interesting post. It makes me think. Although I cannot find the right answer - yet.
Miriam
Kala - I'll definitely be over to check it out!
Crystal - I find that competing is a losing pastime, much better to just do what is good for you to do and see where it lands.
gypsy - Thank you for the link. I've had to wear my padded suit lately, too.
DJan - People are hurtful, and I have to wonder - did they just mean what they said?? You either have to be less vulnerable or wear a padded suit. :-)
Negerigeletschtempoit - I think when someone is continually abusive, then you have to remove yourself or let them know it will no longer be tolerated. In my world that kind of activiy is not tolerated for very long. But it is those "off the cuff remarks" that seem to sting more these days. I have to wonder - is it me? Am I just more sensitive? Or did that person that I love just say that to be nasty and hurtful? And what do I do about it?
Sometimes I can let a comment slide by and realize that though it may have been without grace, it was not intended to be unkind. I also find it helpful to echo a comment for clarity instead of defending a position from the start.
I think the current universal feeling of instability leads to conflict. Faith in our collective futures and real effort toward positive outcomes would be good for us all right now.
it is better to be happy than right...and yes each interaction is an opportunity to learn for those that pay attention...
Some people are clumsy, not intentionally unkind.
Also, the more sensitive we get in preparation for our spirits to raise a level in consciousness, the more sensitive we get in all other ways. For example sensitivity to criticism, sensitivity to foods, sensitivity to medications etc.
I remember i did a post a while back about there being no facades to hide behind......there is complete transparency in the world of spirit.
People aren't nice lately... it's unfortunate, really, but at least it allows us to weed out the bad before they enter our lives rather than after! :) Learning from another person's rude behavior is a good thing! Maybe that's the reason they've crossed our paths!
better to be happy than right. this was a hard learned lesson for me. if/when I knew I was right and the other would not accept it I would argue wanting them to acknowledge my 'rightness'. Of course all that happened was an argument and I was never happy. Now, I say my piece and if the other person doesn't believe me or agree, that's OK. I know I am right (except for those times when I am wrong) and have no need for the other person to acknowledge it and I am happy all the time.
The suit is on. But I'd like to strip it away. We live not just in interesting times, but in WEIRD TIMES.
Butternut - Yeah, I let those slide, too. I mean, we all say things that are not meant to be mean sometimes, just unthinking. It's the mean ones I'm having a hard time with.
Brian - It is the hardest thing to do - think with the heart when you just want to be mad!
Natalie - Good to know! It's not just our imagination - we really are more sensitive.
Two Chicks - Maybe that is exactly why they crossed our paths.
Ellen - LOL! I loved that last line!
T - I know what you mean - that padded suit has caught a few barbs for me over the last few days.
That's a tough place to be, especially if the person is a family member. Whenever anyone speaks rudely or mean to me, I might let it slide, the first time. But if it happens again, I just simply walk away and don't speak to them for a very long time, if ever again. That usually does the trick.
Marguerite - That's one way to handle it! :-)
Wait, "it's better to be happy than right"? Noooooooooo!
While I concede we do live in challenging times, I think that part of being an adult is to exercise some filters.
That said, I do let rude comments slide but I use the three strikes you're out rule. If it happens a third time, I address it if I think it will help better the relationship.
It's no surprise stress levels are soaring considering the intensity of the Kabuki Theater we're experiencing lately. Yes, take a deep breath and listen to your heart. Actually, it's often my stomach that speaks to me. Gut level intelligence can't (and shouldn't) be ignored.
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