I often look out of my window at the little stream outside my bedroom and wonder how long it has been there. Has it been there since my grandfather worked here as a trapper in the early part of the last century? Before that? Will it be there after I die? The answer is yes. Probably to all of those questions. But it changes constantly. The sides change with wet years, the little waterfalls change with dry years. My point is that everything in our world changes. The pain comes when we want it to stay the same.
We want things to be predictable, we want resolution and crave security. Our conventional minds cannot grasp the dynamic flow of the universe, so we create addictions and prejudices to deal with the fear of a fluid existence. "We are like people in a sinking boat trying to hold on to the water." (Pema Chodron)
So what to do?
Let go of wanting to protect yourself from what is. Embrace each new moment. Expect that moment to be gone, and a new one will take it's place. Realize that we are a part of something that is not to be controlled. It is natural, and normal, and all that we are. Don't fear what you cannot change. Greet each new moment as though it holds the promise of a lifetime. Because it does.
29 comments:
I think, as I age, I get better at going with the flow, living in the moment. I hope it will serve me well in the future. Predictability and security are nice, but never long lasting.
"My point is that everything in our world changes. The pain comes when we want it to stay the same."
How very true. Trying to keep it the same only prolongs the agony instead of going forward.
Thanks for visiting. And, yes, mid-life jobhunting is definitely part of that agonizing change.
"Me, I liked the roller coaster..." Remember the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin? (I hope that's the right title.) Crazy old Gramma told the story about the merry-go-round and the roller coaster. Change is what makes life worth living!
Exactly just so. Greet each new day for the life that will be revealed.
Beautifully written. I think you're right, that tiny scream I was writing about this morning is the part of me that's desperate for things to stop changing so much. But it's like holding onto sand-- the harder you squeeze, the more that slips out between your fingers. Got to learn to let go and just be.
"Greet each new moment as though it holds the promise of a lifetime." Omigosh, yes! And very often, change is better for us than remaining stagnant.
(I like that you have added your name to your *moniker*)
What MzzLily wrote.
I suppose it's because it takes work to start new habits is why we resist change. Why do people sit in the same chair in class day in day out? We try to keep at least something the same. Truth is we are each evolving every moment, but we don't recognize it.
Live in the moment and it all resolves itself. Thanks for going inside - I've been enjoying that tug back through your posts.
Very inspirational. Thank you! :)
Thank you Nancy for your kind words on my blog. I appreciate you coming by.
I am a creature of habit, a scared woman in the real world. I could remember when I was becoming an adult in the real world. How literally scared I was. I was no longer in the comforts of my childhood home. I was alone in my new apartment, grappling with change. I set myself up for so much pain and angst in my twenties. Those had to be the hardest years of my life. I am just now coming to terms with change 20 years later. Little steps, I take. When my mind doesn't overwhelm me and I can make a conscious effort, I do welcome change. Sometimes it just takes a while. I do agree, I need to read more books to help through these tough times. Thanks for referencing the books you read.
Thank your for you wonderful words.
Change and I (or is it me?) are mortal enemies. I had so much change as a child. I crave the security of sameness (is that a word?)Same people, same place, same things going on. But funny thing is lately I have been missing something, needing something I can't quite put my finger on... Wow I think I have a bit more thinking to do on this subject.... But thank you so much as usual for giving me something to think about! And as usual I Love reading your blog, beautiful thoughts from a beautiful person,
you know, thats true. change happens, we can fight it and hurt or go with it and live. easy to say, hard to do at times.
Such a lovely post, Nancy. I agree that change is inevitable plus it encourages us to grow. Remaining flexible and open to change each day helps me to "go with the flow".
Great post. Wonderful reminder.
Accepting changes didn't come to me naturally but as time went by, I learned to embrace change. Now, I see myself in my daughter. Lucky her, I'm here to teach her that many times, things don't work out the way we planned, but each change, especially if backed-up by the universe's will, is for our own good.
Wonderful post.
I spent most of my life fighting change and wanting it at the same time.
I had no understanding of embracing change ...living more freely.
Thankfully even that has changed now!
I'm getting better and better (except when I'm not) at going with the Univeral flow of things...as a result ...so many more beautiful experiences.
Feel the fear and do it anyway ...
Life is a rush.
God bless,
Sarah Lulu (moving in a week...another change...)
What a wonderful, inspiring post.
Thank you for such a wonderful perspective,
Laura
Nothing to add, it has all been said.....and said well.
Thank you for this. It is a lovely reminder. Change is, for me, too often a four letter word. Just the threat of change can throw me into a tailspin. I am striving to take each moment as it comes and embrace it. I have proven to myself that I am strong enough to weather what storms may come; your post reminds me of that.
I always enjoy the thought provoking posts you so often grace us with.
Love this........just what I needed to hear today.
I liked the post about hemp, too. I am about to weave some dish towels of a blend of cotton and hemp. I have high hopes for the end result.
reading all the comments here, i doubt that i have anything original to add...but i have to say that while i always experience a lot of anxiety about change, i also find it enormously comforting, when i am in the middle of a particularly depressing time, that change will eventually come, and i will not always feel that way. like most things in life, it's a blade with two edges, neither of them complete without the other.
if we didn't have change...oy. i don't even want to imagine that. without change there can be no hope! well put, nancy.
embracing change, while necessary, is also frightening...that said, it's what we all need to do--well, at least *I* need to...your words are especially fitting given the losses of this past few days....thank you for writing them.
Very inspiring words. Of late I repeat to myself "this too shall pass, the good and the bad" As it will, is that living in the moment? Or simply redirecting the mind from feeling that moment? I do know, it helps.
It's a nice theory but I don't entirely agree. As a human being you get attached to people, areas or material things. If we would always relativize our feelings because something could possibly change, we would grow numb. I do believe acceptance of change could spare us many grievances, or ease some pain at least, but I also believe it's a part of human life to hurt, grieve over what was lost or what has changed. Pain is just as much part of human life as joy. One does not exist without the other. It's all about balance.
So true and wise!
Nancy, I can really relate to you right now with change and anger issues. I'm having anger and frustration over some of my DIL's and son's decisions and choices lately. But as your wonderful comment to me stated, taking the high road is the way to go. And I try to follow my own chant, "Everything works out for the best". But sometimes it takes a lot of mental will power to do what you know to be best. Change is hard, but it will be OK. I'll keep reminding you if you keep reminding me. Thank you.
A person cannot step into the same river twice, for the person has changed and the river has changed. Yet there is a quiet center where nothing changes.
This is so true. I've come to accept change and sometimes even look forward to it - it brings spice into life doesn't it. Thanks for this post!
Your blog as well as the comments you leave when you stop by are always insightful. Thank you.
I like what Needle B says about change. That it's comforting to know change is coming when you are in a situation that is dark and frightening.
The greatest enemy to change for me is laziness.
It is so true. Change is all we can really count on now. We learn from our mistakes (for the most part) but sometimes a bigger mistake needs to occur in order to permanently change our lifestyle as a human race.
It hurts sometimes, wishing and hoping we would only stick together and make a stand.
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