I have been working on improving some things in my life, as you can probably tell from my reading list lately. One of those things is anger, which got totally out of hand with the collapse of our economy last September. Of course, once you start working on something that needs attention and healing, it gets tested. I am supposed to be thankful for these tests, as how can I improve without them? But my bad-juju closet not only tested me this week, I failed the exam.
It has been six months since we finished our remodel, yet the closet that was the very last wrong thing, continues to be a vortex of bad energy. Not only did my contractor not order the proper doors the first time, he did it again. Now, six months later, we are in the throes of either accepting what we did not order, or insist he get it right. Let me preface by saying he is not in a good financial position, as are many contractors, in this economy.
Anger, burning hot, won out yesterday. Not with him, but with my poor husband that had to listen to the rant. Today, I've decided to follow the advice given by my current hero, Pema Chodron, and forgive myself for failing the test, and move on. If we can't forgive ourselves, we cannot forgive anyone else (like my contractor.) Now I hope to be prepared for the next test. Maybe I'll be able to center myself, breathe, and not resort to any kind of anger.
As for the bad-juju closet - I guess it will just have to be what it turns out to be. Photos to follow - whenever it's done. I've given up on the three days it was supposed to take.
Are you working on a part of yourself that is constantly getting tested?