Wednesday, May 6, 2009

For The One I Almost Lost



Twenty-two years ago today I almost lost one of the most precious jewels I would ever know. She was born late - way too late, really. But we were busy that week. We had to put her Grandfather in the hospital for what would be one of the last times. Labor pains was not something we could pay attention to that day. My father telling me over his shoulder, as they wheeled him to his room, to go clean my Auntie's house, as he had been too sick to pick up after himself the week that he had stayed there while she was out of town. The nurse telling him that I didn't look in any shape to be cleaning anything. But, of course, I did. I would have done anything for him. Tears welled, as I stood there with my gigantic belly and my little girl's hand in mine, knowing my fifty-eight year old Dad wouldn't live to see my children grow up.

I didn't get far at the cleaning chore - and the note I left said I wasn't feeling very well. My Auntie called me the next morning at the hospital to say congratulations. Yes, she came early that morning, after a harrowing emergency C-Section. Merconium-stained, they said. She may not make it, they said. I wanted to see her, hold her. She was ten pounds four ounces - how could she die? All the other sweet babies in the neonatal unit could fit in your hand. They put sunglasses on mine and took pictures! She threw the oxygen tent off - not a norm in that unit. She responded as soon as I held her. We went home in four days, also unusual for that type of problem. She doesn't like to be without me. Until now.

Now she has her own life, and I am just a part of it. As it should be, if you do your job right. She's graduating from college in June. She is soulful and loving. She has lots of friends and a family that adores her. She's a vegetarian, and stands firmly by her principals. She has an affinity for small children and they flock to her wherever she goes. She is just superb. Happy birthday to my sweet girl. The world is a better place because you are in it.

58 comments:

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

Happy Birthday to your Daughter.

(she sounds a lot like mine)

Amy @ Passages to the Past said...

Awwww....that was so sweet! Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!

California Girl said...

That is beautiful and I'm crying and isn't motherhood the greatest of all gifts? Wonderful story and so very clear. Your dad too. How painful to lose him so young. It still hurts per your writing. Happy Birthday to your little girl.

Happy Mother's Day to you.

Expat From Hell said...

Happy Birthday, indeed. And Happy Birthday to the birth-giver, as well!

EFH

Spiritual Journey said...

You're blessed to have this chance to be her mother.

Marguerite said...

So sorry for the loss of your Dad. My Dad is 87 and I don't know what I'd do without him. So happy for your gain, your beautiful daughter. Happy Birthday to both of you!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Happy Birthday to a lovely lady... and to her terrific Mom--kudos!

Jeninacide said...

Happy Birthday Sissy!

MrsSchlereth said...

Happy birthday to your daughter! Thinking maybe she got a lot of her strength from her mama! ;)

Keylee Daud said...

Happy Birthday Let It be

Breeze said...

Sweet. Thanks for sharing. I love these types of stories. Happy birthday to your baby!

Breeze

Butternut Squash said...

That was beautiful. You are a wonderful Mom! Happy Birthday to your daughter and Happy Mother's Day to you. I'll be working again on Mother's Day. Peace.

Bogey said...

Her independance tells me that you raised her right. You may think she doesn't need you but she knows you will always be there when the chips are down. Pass on my best wishes to her.

ellen abbott said...

What a gift for you. Happy birthday to your daughter.

Joanne said...

My guess is that you are a bigger part of her life than you might think, in her thoughts and mannerisms and decisions daily. Happy birthday to your daughter, a very poignant story.

Deboshree said...

Happy bday to your dear daughter!
With a lovely mom like you,I'm sure your daughter too is a wonderful soul.
God bless you both
Love
Deboshree

P.S.Thanks for your advice..I will let you know about my decision.I'm still in half minds.

Jo said...

Awww.... what a beautiful post to your daughter. It sounds like your sheer willpower and love pulled her through.

Happy Birthday to your daughter, and Happy Mother's Day (on Sunday) to you.

Star said...

I'm dabbing my eyes again...so glad your daughter survived to grow up. She sounds like a lovely young lady.
Blessings, Star

Missy said...

How sweet. Made me tear up. Loved what you said about doing your job right. I am less and less a part of my 17 year old's life as he tries to gain his independence. Guess I need to look at that from another angle than the one I have been.

nikina said...

Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter !!! :) :) lots of sunshine, smiles and cake :)

luksky said...

Awww....brings tears to my eyes. Happy B-day to your beloved daughter.

Hilary said...

"Now she has her own life, and I am just a part of it. As it should be, if you do your job right."

That's it in a nutshell. My son just turned 22 last month. I know how quickly that time flew. Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter. :)

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

I have tears welling up in my eyes...so beautiful and what a heartfelt birthday tribute to your daughter. Happy Birthday to her...and to you...a job well done!

Verily I go. said...

Ahh, I loved that too, also cried. Sweet Lover of Life you are. Congrats to your baby. Hooray for cake! Thank you.

Mental P Mama said...

Beautiful tribute for a beautiful young lady.

Melissa said...

That was very nice. Thanks for always writing such nice words about circumstances in life.

I agree with it being your "birth" day as well.

judemiller1 said...

My grandson had much the same problem when he was born and it was touch and go for a couple of day--he is now a healthy 7 year old..I hope that I can see him on his 22nd birthday.

Happy Birthday to your daughter.

Linda Pendleton said...

Beautiful story of life. Thanks for sharing.

Sink said...

How does the time pass so quickly? Such a feeling to love the grown up children we have now and miss the little kids they were too. I'm so glad that you didn't lose her.

Kay said...

You have managed to create a lump in my throat and bring tears to my eyes...what a lucky daughter, to have you!

sharon graham said...

Your lovely,touching story brought home memeories of my big baby who was in trouble.He is 39 and fine.Thank you for reminding me what Mother's Day is about ...remembering and gratitude.
By the way,if you like "Gone With The Wind," you might enjoy my short story "Mr.O'Hara and Me."

Lindz said...

You did an amazing job with TWO remarkable girls. I love them both. Nick liked Jill right from the start, then again, who doesn't?

Eva Marie said...

I know that love...parent to a child. It brought tears to my eyes!!

Happy Birthday to both of you!

Reya Mellicker said...

Happiest birthday to your daughter and bravo to you for enduring what must have been terrifying and sad. Wow.

Marlene said...

Happy Birth day to you both! I love what you wrote..it was beautiful.. I have a special daughter too. Marissa..The best gift God ever gave me! I almost lost her too, but she stayed and the world was a better place becasue of her!

Gemel said...

Sending you both Love, Light and Cosmic Harmony xx

Herrad said...

Hi,

What a sweet story
Happy Birthday to your daughter.

Love,
Herrad

crone51 said...

I have a daughter who will turn 20 on May 19th who was born with an intestinal atresia and was also in the NICU with the teeny weeny ones- my beauty weighed 9lb 8 oz. She was operated on when she was 24 hours old and then again when she was 14 years old. She is an amazing artist and art student and a healthy young woman who is right now napping on that couch over there! I also have a 22 year old daughter who also graduates in June. She is graduating Magna Cum Laude. Her birth was less dramatic. I am so lucky to have these wonderful daughters.

nurturingwisdom said...

Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter! What a special relationship-mother and daughter.

I'm sorry for the lost of your dad. I lost mine also. I miss him very much.

Natalie said...

Our daughter with the same name, had the same start in life too! Their birthdays close too! Hope my little one grows up as nice as your birthday girl. Hope she has a lovely day.xx♥

Rachael said...

This brought tears to my eyes! Congrats on a wonderful family, Happy Birthday to your daughter, and Happy Early Mother's Day to you!

What a perfect gift. :)

willow said...

Wonderful tribute and beautiful daughter. Happy Birthday!

Sae Han Park said...

awesome :) happy birthday !

Lydia said...

Happy Birthday!
This loving tribute to your daughter reminds me of things my mother would say/write about me. It makes me miss her all the more as Mother's Day approaches. But she was with me for many more years than your father was with you; I'm so sorry he passed so young.

fayezie.com said...

wow, those are wonderfully inspirational words... coming from a mum. I being in the early parenting years here, and single while at it, find strength and inspiration to read your words so perfectly light, not too heavy, just the perfect amount of love for you daughter, and the smile is in between the words.

thanks! you've given me more power to wake up tomorrow and keep on lovin my babies.

susan said...

I think if men could be mothers there wouldn't be so much trouble in the world. That's not to say there aren't a lot of wonderful fathers but there's a connection a woman has with the children she's borne that can't be matched by any other experience.

happy Birthday to your lovely daughter and Happy Mother's day to you.

Lisa said...

oh yes, how blessed we are- i have one of those too- now you've made me cry xx

Lori ann said...

Happy Birthday to the both of you! Have a beautiful day, so wonderful!
xoxxo♥
Lori

mo'ikeha said...

As I know (now) that you and your daughter are alive, it won't be possible to forget about May 6th being her birthday and about how happy you are today - which in turn makes me happy too.
Happy Birthday

Andrea said...

Oh daughters - they are wonderful aren't they? Happy birthday to her!

Erika C. said...

Happy birthday to your daughter. My daughter's 10th birthday was May 10th!
Thanks for the moving post.

C.M. Jackson said...

happy birthday to your daughter--your post is a gift to all of the mothers out there--best c

dragonflydreamer said...

Happy belated Birthday to your beautiful daughter! Your blog has become one of my most favorite and I look forward to the deep thoughts that usually follow my visits here. This brought thoughts of my baby boy who will turn 21 on Tuesday...far away in Texas...alone and the day he was born. The cord was around his neck, the doctor hadn't believed me when I told him I wasn't in early labor so he wasn't at the hospital when I arrived and my baby's heart stopped every time I had a contraction. He fought hard and when he came out all purple and silent, I wouldn't allow anyone near me because I imagined they were going to sedate me and I felt I had to "be there" rather than hear about it later. He made it and my life has been greatly enriched because of him. Thank you for helping me to see the empty nest in a positive light. Hope you are having a great day!

lolit said...

happy birthday to your lovely daughter.....she is truly a treasure.hugs and kisses for her.

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Beautiful.

em said...

Thank you for sharing the story about your little miss sunshine.
Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful Mom
and daughter, as well as your entire family.

hugs

Muriel

just another mom :-)

Koe Whitton-Williams said...

A beautiful posting. We almost lost our first child, twelve years ago, the same way. We had never heard about meconium aspiration until it happened to us. He was in intensive care for 10 days. . . His doctors and nurses were amazing. The baby in the isolette next to our son's was the size of a ken doll. The little boy, Ross was his name, was healthier than our son. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank you for writing this and. . . I know I am late but Happy Birthday to your daughter.

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