Last week I was unboxing and going through some really old stuff that has been stored in a trunk that my brother made for me. In my exuberance to rid myself of "stuff," I came across a box that belonged to my mother. I'm not sure when it was given to me, but I think it was when my grandmother died about ten years ago. I was busy with children and work at the time and didn't go through the box, which had Joyce's Correspondence, on the top. My mother died when I was six years old.
When I opened the box there was a picture of my aunt, my mother's sister, on the top. She was about five years old in the picture. I immediately felt guilty for not visiting her in way too long. My aunt is completely disabled from diabetes, having one leg amputated and completely bedridden. We talk occasionally on the phone and I send her money and other things that she needs when I can. But I have avoided visiting her because it is just painful and unpleasant. I know, selfish of me. But she lives in California and we have been living in Oregon and Minnesota, so visiting has been easy to avoid. I might add that she lives with her son and his family, so she is surrounded by people she loves, she is not alone.
But that doesn't excuse me. I know that.
Just as I was leaving for Sacramento (where she lives) I get a call from my brother. He says our aunt is in the hospital and may not make it. Visiting her is now unavoidable, as I am heading in that direction for the 4th of July at my brother's house.
All I can say is thank you to the nudges I was given, including the picture in the box of my mother's correspondence. She was awake and feeling well enough that she was heading home that day. My aunt was so happy to see me, and my brother, that it brought tears to my eyes. She kept saying how much she loved us.
I don't know how much longer she has, probably not long. She has congestive heart failure, diabetes, and may lose her other leg. For a woman that is only 61 years old, she is not in good shape. But for me it was a lesson learned. I'll make a point of trying to see her every few months. It was not as bad as I had feared, and the good that came of it far outweighed the bad. My mother and grandmother would want me to take care of her in any way that I can. So that is what I will do.
I've hidden money in her bag, to dole out to her grandchildren. I've ordered new hospital gowns for her, and sent her a bottle of her favorite perfume - Poison by Christian Dior.
But more importantly, I'll gift her with a visit from someone who loves her.
25 comments:
Wonderful post! We're delighted the book was a good nudge. And how interesting about your finding the box.
The Universe was talking to you. I'm glad you listened.
giving me shivers nancy...glad you are in tune...
Oh, Nancy, it was just obviously meant to be. Don't you wonder who is pulling those levers up there? I do! And I think they enjoy our consternation.
Nancy, I really and truly believe in this sort of thing. I know that people can really get all worked up and say, "Why must people assign important to coincidence?!?"
But I really don't think it is. I don't understand the uniting force that I think is in the universe, but I think there is something, quite possibly beyond our full understanding.
I'm so glad you listened, and it was as much for your benefit as your aunts. I think too often we wait until we've lost someone, to really appreciate who they are within our own, personal universe.
Thank you for being kind to someone who loves and misses you, I think it will make things easier for her and she'll know she's loved. What a beautiful thing.
Nudge isn't a word I think of as being beautiful, but many a lovely thing results from them. The people who know you are lucky to do so.
How interesting. My deceased mother's name was Joyce also...
How fortunate you are to be accorded the time to re-connect.
Sometimes those nudges come from the strangest places. I remember having a spur of the moment thought to visit my grandfather and it turned out to be the last time that I saw him before his illness!
I'm sure your visit meant the world to your aunt, and how nice to re-establish that connection that also somehow leads to your mother.
A wonderful, timely nudge, indeed. I'm sure that it meant so much to your aunt. I experience these kind of nudges quite often, and I'm always thankful for them.
First of all, I love that trunk and have one very similar but the top on mine isn't quite as rounded.
What a lovely post.
I've always found that it's best to listen to those little nudges. When I've failed to do so, it's usually something I regret.
Interesting connections. What you see in your aunt is the connections she had with your mother.
Nancy, I so resonate with this post! We need to listen to our gut, our intuition. My brother and his wife were here for the 4th - he's had multiple brain surgeries and is lucid part of the time. It takes patience and determination to have them visit for 3 nights, but we emerged victorious once again - a good time had by all! My sister-in-law is a saint. We never know what lies around the next corner. Love is the answer.
Lovely, Nancy. So glad you were able to reconnect with your aunt. Your mom and grandma were definitely speaking to you...
"It was not as bad as I had feared, and the good that came of it far outweighed the bad."
I believe often it is fear that keeps us from doing what we know is right. That we don't feel we'll know how to behave, act, handle what is before us. Glad this turned out well.
Most interested in what you find in all those letters.
What a wonderful post. Yes, I know those kinds of nudges and usually just go with them. Good for you.
Nancy, I agree completely with ML Jobhunter's thoughtful assessment. I'm glad for you that you were able to see her before it was too late, and that because of your visit, you'll be more at peace with yourself when she does eventually leave her life behind.
Fears imagined are almost always worse than the reality.
I know what you've felt. I went through it as well but once you make the trip it is well worth it. I miss my favorite aunt so much. I loved seeing her. Some of the other relatives were much less desirable to see but I did my duty as a kid and adult. Of course, as a kid, my parents MADE ME.
Enjoy the time you have left with one another.
yes do, we never regret the things we did, but always the things we didn't do.
I think that as we get older we 'hear' the universe so much more clearly. When we are young there is so much noise it is hard to hear and harder still to see.
As I age I know now to follow hunches, go with feelings and trust the universe. Good for you for following yours. I hope that your Aunt has peace with however long she has.
WOW Nancy just WOW!=0D
Wow! I am going to download that book on my nook today!
Glad you listened!!
I'm glad you were able to see her in time and everything worked out. You gave her a lot of wonderful things, but I'm sure your visit was the best gift.
Glad that you were able to see your aunt. I haven't visited your blog in a while. Actually I haven't even written on my blog for a while.
But this post really jumped out at me-another synchronicity. In the book I am writing now, there is a chest just like the one in your photo, except that it is from my imagination. So it helped to get the image of what it really looks like. THanks!
Happy summer!
warmly,
Erika
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