Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Today's the day!


Yay, today is the day my daughter and grandson arrive for a visit. I can't wait to see them, after all it has been about six weeks, my maximum for going without a visit with said grandson. I made a decision, when he was born, to not go longer than six weeks without seeing him. I don't want him to grow up and only know my husband and I as some vague shadow figures of grandparents. I want an intimate, familiar relationship. One where he knows what it feels like to sit on our laps and be kissed and loved. One where he knows that, no matter what, his grandparents are here for him and always will be.

I had grandparents like that. My mother died when I was six years old, and my brother was six months, of breast cancer. She was 27. To say that was a defining moment in my life, would be an understatement. But we always had our grandparents. They did their best to fill the holes. It wasn't easy for them, I know. We left to live with them for two years right after the funeral. My father felt, at the time, that was the best thing for us. I'm not sure that was the right decision, but it was the one they made. I think it may have been what my grandmother needed and wanted, after losing her beloved daughter. I'm just not sure having a six-year-old and a six-month-old to take care of was easy during her time of grief. I remember my grandparents being extremely sad. But as a grandparent now, I can see that my grandmother needed to make sure her daughter's babies were well cared for. That was the last, and only, thing she could do for her. My father must of realized that. Anyway, that's another story for another day. Today, I am going to give my daughter a break, and a much needed rest, as my husband and I revel in the deliciousness of our grandson!


8 comments:

Rose said...

That was very interesting. I would like to read more about you living with your grandparents. Did you eventually go back and live with your dad?
I lived with my grandmother, grandfather and mother until I was 9. My grandfather died when I was 4 but I remember how much he adored his first grandchild, me. I thing the best relationship I have ever had was with my grandmotehr. I miss her terribly even now 30 years after her death.
My mother moved to NY when I was pregnant and I always thought about how much she missed. I wish I had a grandbaby to love and kiss. Yours is a cutie-pie.

Nancy said...

Thanks, Rose. I did eventually live with my father. He remarried two years later. I think he only married to have a home for his children. I eventually had another brother and sister, but my Dad's marriage didn't make it. Grandparents play a HUGE role in a child's life. I'm glad you had the same experience with grandparent-living as I did. They were such a blessing in my life. I will write more about it, I think. It is a wonderful subject, especially for those of us lucky enough to be special with our grandparents.

Unknown said...

I was very close to my grandparents and still miss them now. Enjoy the visit and thanks for your supportive comment today.

Jo-Mama said...

This really touched my heart as I too have had a special relationship with my grandmother. While I was lucky enough to have lived and be raised in my intact family, it was my grandmother who had the greatest influence on all of the children. She had a huge heart, a warm lap and abundance of time for us always. She lived two houses down the block most of my life, and was the only care taker I can recall on a regular basis. She worked very hard her entire life yet always used her spare time to love and nurture my brother and me. I miss her so much even after all these years that rarely a day goes by that she is not in my thoughts. As grandparents, I am so glad that you will be that love for your grandson. He will never forget and always cherish those special feelings he'll learn from you. I know his parents love him enormously, and make a fantastic home for him to grow in for sure, but Grandparents get the good stuff. Enjoy.

Nancy said...

Thanks, Jo-Mamma. I wish so much that we could live two doors down, too. But I am grateful for the other set of grandparents, who are wonderful, and provide a near-by nurturing base for him. Grandparents truly love you unconditionally. Parents are busy providing for you, and trying to teach you to get your elbow off the table. :-)

Faithful said...

I will always remember my only Grandma, too, who lived a couple of states away so we didn't see her often as she would have liked, it was so hard for her to get to us. She showered us with her time and her true affection, we couldn't wait for her next visit, where we would pick up right where we left off because her love was so real. Bugga is very lucky to have 2 sets of grandparents to give him that special nuturing.

Jo said...

Awwww.... what a cute picture. My husband died when my daughter was four, and she was very close to her grandparents. And now I am very close to my grandchildren. They're wonderful, aren't they? And then just get to be even more fun as they get older. My grandson is 13 next month, and my granddaughter is 10 in April. They are just delightful, and I love them to bits!

Nancy said...

I totally agree, Jo.