Sunday, September 20, 2009

Extinct Bridezillas



Has anyone seen the reality television program "Bridezillas"? It's about the total obnoxiousness of some brides. These young women wreak total hell havoc with their outlandish demands and desire to outdo other brides on their "big day." Many end up screaming and crying and not enjoying any of the preparations, not to mention breaking their parent's bank accounts in the process. I have only watched the program a couple of times, and I'm not even sure why. Maybe because human nature, in all its extremes, is always interesting to me. Anyway, on one episode I watched a bride-to-be scream that she hated the groom! Just hours before the wedding. If I was that guy, I'd have run for my life!

We attended a wedding tonight where the bride and bridegroom had exchanged vows on a mountain top, after climbing and rappelling a rock, earlier this week. Her mother had fashioned a veil on her helmet. Tonight they exchanged vows in front of family and friends and had a wonderful and simple evening. Pictures of their mountain top wedding flashed on a giant screen. The centerpieces were vases with rice and pictures of them in various activities and travels. They are very athletic, and their wedding mirrored their values.

Her mother told me her daughter had done all the planning. Absent were all the expensive trappings. It was very modest, but still very nice. She was stunning in her dress that was under $300, and the groomsmen wore flip flops. The parents of the bride were having a great time the whole evening.

It reminded me of my daughter's wedding two years ago. My daughter was adamant that only people who really cared about her be there. Without all the guests that are invited because it's obligatory. It ended up being just beautiful, with 65 guests.

Perhaps it is becoming unfashionable to have the Bridezilla weddings. Maybe all the pomp and circumstance that was so popular just a few years ago, is becoming passe. The celebrations we have attended have all been lovely, but not outrageous. Maybe we are getting back to a more realistic view of what is the most important aspect of a wedding - love and respect for everyone involved.

32 comments:

Hilary said...

I hope you're right about that. I love the idea of a simple, down-to-earth kind of ceremony. The one you attended sounds just beautiful. Regardless of how well-to-do a family is, I dislike the idea of spending so much money on a party. It just seems so wasteful - especially since just as nice a time, and most likely better can be had for so much less.

Delwyn said...

Hi Nancy

Hallelujah for simple weddings...My son#1 is to be married on the beach in Kauai next Feb with all their loved ones and friends who are making the effort and the sacrifices necessary to travel...the reception is to be a home catered BBQ on the beachfron lawn...

Happy days

JeannetteLS said...

I hope it's a trend. I just attended one of the other sort lately, though, and ALL the bride did was run around hoping things were perfect, getting upset when some flowers were not quite right. It's a shame. I loved my wedding at my mom's. Wore a red dress over my body cast. Dad had a tent over the back yard. My husband and I had written our invitations, one by one, with silly response cards. I remember the whole thing, from start to finish--the next morning, with a metal detector because my engagement ring had fallen off! There were children all over... That's the thing. Having a wedding that has little stress helps us REMEMBER it all. I don't want to see the show!!!

Ruth said...

Hear hear! How dumb is it to spend tens of thousands on a single day?

Hilary said...

I agree......huge, expensive weddings are simply wasteful. There are so many other ways to celebrate the occasion tastefully.
And yes, have the people who really care, not people you haven't seen in 10 years.
So true.

The Good Cook said...

Simple weddings. Simple lives. Simple declarations of love. What could be better?

We are attending my nephew's wedding in October this year. He is named after my father (who is not all that well) and he and his lovely bride to be asked my dad (his namesake) to officiate. How lovely is that? My dad in his old age became a "minister" and will perform his one and only wedding ceremony on Oct. 24.

Now that's family!

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Nancy: If this economic crisis accomplishes that it will be so worth it. And not just for weddings. This accent on the display of over-the-top consumption is obscene while others who share the planet starve or suffer. Bravo to all those who tone it down.

Leah J. Utas said...

I find big, expensive weddings show-offy and frankly rather pathetic. They become all about being a star and nothing about love. They disgust and sadden me. I hope you are right and they are over.

ellen abbott said...

My own wedding (second time around, the one that lasted) was in our home and lasted all of 5 minutes. We invited all our friends and family and partied from 4 PM to midnight. Food was pot luck style.

Kathy G said...

Son #2 is getting married next spring. They've chosen a winery (with a paved area that overlooks the river--I'm already praying for good weather!) The facility only holds about 100 people.

His bride-to-be seems to be pretty sensible about the whole thing, although I've seen young women get more and more Bridezilla-like as the big event gets closer!

Sylvia said...

Makes you wonder why people do get married - if it is because they love each other or because they want to make a show-off. Yes, if I were the groom I would run away while I could!

Reya Mellicker said...

Reality TV is meant to show the worst of human character. It's just like Rome in its final days. I avoid reality TV like the plague I believe it to be.

The wedding you attended sounds beautiful and perfect. If they can climb a rock togeher, they have a good chance of working through all it takes to stay married, too. Bravo!

luksky said...

Not being extravagant people at all, my hubby and I opted for a "courthouse wedding". My 8 year old daughter is now wanting us to have a "real" wedding so that she can attend. :-)

Jeff D'Antonio said...

We had a small, simple wedding, followed by a small, simple back yard barbeque. For us, it wasn't about the ceremony or the celebration, it was (and still is) about the vows and how we live them.

Coming up on twelve years next month. So far, so good.

Nancy said...

I didnt even have a wedding! And I've been married 20+ years! I dont think "the wedding" is that important, its who you are marrying. I would love to give my kids beautiful weddings though. I've seen that bridezilla show, its just shocking. And they SIGN UP for the show themselves. Its not hidden video or anything. So what would make a person say "I am a bridezilla" I just dont get it. There must be money involved!

Emom said...

Interesting...(smiles)...I have photographed weddings, in many locales, for over 16 years..and I will tell you that the smaller the wedding...the more intimate that setting...the fewer the guests......the better the photographs, no exceptions...smiles.

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

I so agree with the simplicity of a wedding. Fortunately, my daughter and her husband to be do not want all the hoopla that comes with the Bridezilla weddings. They want only parents and siblings...the loved ones that will always be a part of their life. I would have to agree that more and more couples are seeking the true meaning of love, cherish and honor...not the staged element of the reality TV.

Elizabeth Bradley said...

Parents were taking out second mortgages to pay for elaborate weddings that they couldn't afford. I wonder how many lost their houses due to such irresponsible behavior. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. The wedding you attended sounds far more meaningful than most of those over-the-top affairs everyone goes ga ga over. Great post!

TheChicGeek said...

I can't stand these shows. They promote the worst in us.

I agree with you that we need to get "back to a more realistic view of what is the most important aspect of a wedding - love and respect for everyone involved." Perfectly stated, Nancy!

Have a Wonderful Day!

Lily said...

I wish it were true... I think it's just 'different strokes for different folks'.

My daughter's wedding (years ago) was very beautiful and very frugal. She has allergies, so wanted silk flowers. I made the bouquets, as well as her veil and headpiece. She found a gown she loved for just over $100. The only invited guests were people close to her. She saw them all on a regular basis.

We get many wedding invitations in the mail where we have to stop and think who the heck they are! For some it's still a game of 'how big can I make it?'

Marguerite said...

Hooray for simple weddings! My daughter had a fairy tale wedding, two years ago, in a beautiful garden setting, on a Louisiana lake. I did a lot of the planning, since she got married here and she was living in San Diego, at the time. I turned into Momzilla, at times, but it all turned out beautifully.

Mental P Mama said...

How refreshing. I, too, am sick of the excess everywhere.

DJan said...

The only reality show I've ever watched is "Dancing with the Stars" (that is one, isn't it?). Those others I immediately turn off because I know they are intended to humiliate the contestants to give the viewer some kind of... something. I'm not even sure what. I do know some people prefer them to scripted shows, but I'm not convinced that makes them better. I did watch some of the Emmys last night, which were unscripted speeches, right?

linda said...

I hope you are right...the excess in the wedding [almost typed weeding] business is ridiculous..it is a multi-million dollar business and just about anybody can claim to be a "consultant" ...

I do think Bridezillas is pointing this out in a very real way...but haven't you wondered if those women are for real? ;)

GYPSYWOMAN said...

i so don't understand that thing of "wanting" "trying" to be ugly, to be mean and hateful, etc - but i know the show that you mean - never watched it but was unfortunate enough a couple of times to have commercials of it on the screen - and i know the kind of weddings you speak of, too - events to be cherished and remembered forever for what they really are about - love -

Shrinky said...

I sure hope when the time comes, my kids have the wisdom to choose to invest in their future financial security first, rather than to blow the budget on a big show case wedding. The choice will be theirs, it'll be their day, so I guess we'll try to support them either way.

Me? I ran off to the Seychells to get married on the beach - no fuss, and a wonderful honeymoon, to boot!

Phoebe Miriah Kirby said...

Josh and I had a simple wedding. I bought a ten dollar dress at Thrift Town and he wore his dress greens... No family attended. His mother was against the wedding, and I feared if I invited my mother and not her she would hate me forever (from the looks of it it wouldn't have mattered).
Afterward, Josh and I went to a Thai restaurant and drank bubble tea. We had a reception with our families and close friends combined, but it ended badly.
Someone snuck into the room with my purse and stole the $50.00 bill in a card my mother's boyfriend had given us as a gift.

That, sadly, was the only gift we got and it was stolen.

It's okay, my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner shortly after. :) Best gift in the world.

pranksygang said...

Just 65 people in a wedding??! you must be lucky , cause you have enjoyed a lot and also would be satisfied!

Weddings will always be more then 500 people!! The hall would be loaded and marriage is like a festival here..

But i love simple weddings!! And i haven't watched that show!! it sounds kinda freaky!

Jeninacide said...

Awww! Congrats to the bride and groom! I do wish more of my husband's family could have been at our wedding, but other than that, the guest list was PERFECT. I did NOT want a huge wedding. I really didn't. Hate those bridezillas!

GooseBreeder said...

Sense at last!If the brides had to pay for it themselves maybe their day of being a Princess would be different.

California Girl said...

I hope you are correct as well. I am in the process of putting together a marketing package for Weddings. It's to advertise the services available in our resort area to the visitors, many of whom have their weddings up here. Big profit margins for the locals but I am continually amazed by the amounts of money spent on one day in the life.

Nitima Sood said...

Hey Nancy,
Nice blog and even the nicer writings!
Good going