Gearing Up

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I can feel personal change in the air. My husband is antsy. He wants to get up and get moving in the morning. Usually to hike, run, bike, or run errands. A sure sign he wants to go back to work. I, on the other hand, kind of like him home to be my buddy. We have never had such a long stint at not having our whole world revolve around his job. Now I get to call the shots on things involving time that I never used to have as much input. When he works, he works really hard, and any time off needs to revolve around what he would like to do with it. It is usually only two days a week, so I have always had everything done by the weekend, on my part at least, so that time is his to choose. This has evolved over almost 29 years of marriage. Entrenched, you might say.

Now he makes my breakfast and we decide whether to go to the movies, hike, read, do the housework together, (gasp!). I don't think that has happened since we were first married and lived in a tiny apartment. We both had jobs that paid about the same, at the same company. I left to care for babies, and over the years his job changed from a nine to five to one that was at least twelve hours a day. And now I can tell he is anxious to get back. He's rested. He's been off over a year and now he's bored. He's read a mountain of books and housework is just not cutting it, I guess.

Like so many people who have outstanding resumes in this economy, the job search has been ongoing but not fruitful. We have been really lucky, moving to what once was a vacation home. Others have lost their homes, and their lives. While we have been secure, the insecurity in this country has affected us all. We look at things differently. We are aware that some people may never find work, in their field, again. That life's meaning needs to come from elsewhere in our lives. And this lesson we have learned: Don't love a job - it will not love you back. This was something my husband's first boss told him thirty years ago, and he has found those words of wisdom to be pearls. A job is a place you go to earn money to live. It deserves your undivided attention while you're there, but it doesn't deserve to rule your world. It doesn't deserve to define you. You are so much more than a job - any job, even one that rocks your boat. Remember to feed the other parts of your life. They are just as important as what you do to earn a living and will still be there for you if something happens to your business or job title.

So we wait on two possibilities. We may be able to stay here, or we move far away to a state I have never even visited. Or maybe they both fall through. That's the reality of life in America. No guarantees.