Sunday, October 19, 2008

New Death, Old Wounds

So what is it about a death in the family that brings out all the old wounds that one usually keeps under wraps, and buried. My uncle died last week and with his death came all the stuff I thought I had dealt with when my father died. When my Dad died, my siblings were not much help. They are younger, with the next one being six years younger, eight years, and ten years. I have always felt that being the older sister, I was responsible. Period. But now they are grown adults. And my brother took on the responsibility for an ailing uncle. That uncle has passed away, and with it comes all the stuff families seem to put on each other. Why do we do that? And most of all, why does all the pain we bury come floating to the surface? I know why it happens, but that sure doesn't make me immune to it happening. And I just don't seem to have the reserves to handle these things very well. Is it because there is so much anger and angst in the world right now? Or is it because we are getting worn down with it? I know that I quit my blog last week because I felt I was adding to the negativity. But, I think our blogs are just a release. They are our way to sit down and share our fear. I don't know if that is good or bad. But I do feel that people, in general, are bombarded with bad stuff these days. The economy is going to bring even more bad stuff in the months ahead. Hopefully, I can find some channel for all this anger I'm feeling. I'll let you know how I do.


Mae Lee said...

I know you are super busy but maybe volunteering for something would help your mood and the life of someone else. You would know better than me with your degree and all but when things are going downhill, isn't going out and helping someone else the best thing to do? Not that you are depressed yourself but the world is. That may be a channel for your rage. All that built up energy and angst can be transfered into something positive. I know everyone could use a little more positivity these days. Yikes. It is scary out there.

Glad you're back. When I didn't see the link to your blog on Jen's, I immediately asked her wtf? LOVE

Lover of Life said...

Good idea, Mae Lee. I really do need to channel in a positive way. You're right, that is the healthiest course of action.

Jo-Mama said...

So sorry for your loss. I am sorry that you are having to go through the pain of loss and the added torment that family issues can bring along during the most difficult of times. Be assured that most everyone will understand that pain and wish you a fast recovery. You are such a good person. You are right to put your energy into helping others. One happy face is worth 10 that are scowling at you. Feel better.