Sorry, I try to stay away from negative posts, but this was just too important.
I ended another friendship yesterday because a "friend" felt the need to send me a hate-filled email over this legislation. Mind you, I never send anything to him, yet he feels perfectly justified filling my email box with this vitriol. It proves how ignorant and hateful he really is, and I want absolutely nothing to do with him any longer. Another friend bites the dust. All this over health care reform? Really? We can wage two wars, kill thousands, and the country comes apart over health care reform?
This kind of energy will have it's consequences. You can be sure of that.
52 comments:
I have a friend I am tempted to de-friend on facebook because of the five or six rants he posted Sunday night. You know, I feel like the rest of us had to sit back and swallow all the wars and legislation and everything else Bush pushed through the previous 8 years. Can't we have a turn now? The hatred that was spewed by my "friend" and on tv, though... it's too much.
I read this post and I find myself wondering: how long have you been friends? Do you have a problem with his opinion or the way he treated you? Are his convictions of such kind you can't accept it?
And yeah, racism sucks. But signs calling for killing your president? WTF? Do you have a link or something?
Scarlethue - It's time to eliminate those people from my life that feel so hateful. I'm struggling to be a better person, to love, to not be judgmental. I have to not be around people that make me feel these things.
Josephine - It's all over the news. The signs I saw last night were on Nightline. I have been friends with this man for almost 30 years. He writes and sends out these emails despite knowing we feel differently. He is compelled to spew hate. I have no idea why, other than he is watching, reading, and talking with others that ignite these feelings in him, and then in a moment of passion he sends my husband and I this stuff. Like he just has to do it because maybe we are the only ones he knows that believes differently. And then he wants to continue our friendship, as if nothing is wrong.
I have friend who I personally called because she keeps sending me anti-immigration (I'm an immigrant) propaganda. Helloooo...it's like we never met! She also used to sent me racial jokes about Black people. My husband is Black.
I've known her for 5 years, so I called her up said: "do you know I'm an immigrant? and did you notice Mark is Black?" She apologized and said they were just jokes. No they aren't when they're full of hatred towards certain groups. She stopped. I almost ended a friendship over that. She's hardcore Republican, that's fine. I never shove my beliefs down her throat.
sorry...didn't mean to rant on your blog.
I agree, it's disgusting what they're doing.
"We can wage two wars, kill thousands, and the country comes apart over health care reform?"
EXACTLY!!!
I'm with you on this Nancy. All the hate, lies, killing and outright lawlessness of the Bush administration (think ROVE) and now this ruckus over health care reform? Allowing your neighbors and their children to receive affordable health care? Allowing someone who is ill to be able to continue paying their premiums and NOT be dropped? Insuring that if you had cancer as a child that as an adult you can't be denied health insurance?
Oh, but kill tens of thousands citizens, invade a country, and kill over 5,000 American men and women while incurring more debt than ever in the history of the US and not a peep out of these people?
Let's call out these hate mongers. Threats against our lawmakers and our president are against the law. It's called treason. It is also UnAmerican.
I for one have had it with these people. I have de-friended, pressed ignore and called them out in public and will continue to do so whether they be friend or family. No longer am I the silent majority. It's time we speak up.
Bravo for your post!
There will be a backlash. It often takes overt hatred to awaken the quiet middle of America.
As long as our country continues to have a two party system there will always be this lingering hatred. Something has to happen at the foundation level as to changing how we govern this country. We the people, need to stand up and change the old ways...peacefully. And with the media and lobbyists in charge I'm not sure this can ever happen. Most of the people you are describing in your blog only receive information from the media...and believe that whatever the media tells them is the truth, and base all their hatred on this. It's sad. But on a positive note....it is bringing on a new dialogue. Now if we we could just teach some of the ignorant to be better at communicating their disagreements...peacefully and with love for each other...and finding positive solutions for all.
Honestly I'm sick of all the hatred, and I'm ready for teleportation. (giggles)
I respect opposite points of view. Not the hate and fear mongering.
Lluvia - I know exactly what you are talking about. We have to stand up for what is right. You did the right thing, in my opinion!
Good Cook - Exactly right! This treasonous behavior needs to be stopped now, or it will burn out of control. They have now gone too far. I am no longer going to be quiet, either.
Bruce - I pray they wake up before it's too late.
Maggie - I have been trying to be quiet, and to think good and kind thoughts, because I totally agree with you. But yesterday's behavior lit my fuse! The media is directly responsible - one reason I've quit reading all media sites that exploit anger and divisiveness. Including the ones on the other side of these issues. It's time to send a message.
lakeviewer - Same here. I've learned to not attach such passion to my convictions, but I've also asked people not to bring up hot topics. I'm only human, it seems. :-)
it really is scary the polarity on this...and the bigotry and hatred...i see it brewing as well...
Omigoodness, Nancy, yesterday I heard someone yelling "Baby killer!" and I almost fell off my chair. That's awful...!
It's so sad that folks in your country have become so polarized. Americans are such lovely people -- warm, down-to-earth, great people. Here in Canada we are so sad to see what is going on south of the border. It's heartbreaking to watch it. How on earth did things deteriorate so badly!?
And sadly, yes, it will have its consequences.
Brian - I have never been more worried about our country.
Jo - It is this seething ugly side to people who hate Obama. It does not matter what he does - it brings out the looney side to some people. The media is making money on stirring the pot, couple that with the economy, and all that negativity will go somewhere. Obama has become a lightening rod for some people's fear and anger. But now they've gone too far. Yesterday's spectacle was over the top.
I read about this in today's (Spanish) newspaper... and I was shocked, angry, sad, confused... how can people behave like this in the 21st century? haven't we progressed beyond hatemongering as a way of getting a message across? Haven't these people heard of the use of reason and argument and rhetoric? Everyone has a right to an opinion, a belief system, tastes etc... and everyone has the right to disagree. But there are ways and ways of doing things. Threats and villifying comments are just WRONG on any ethical scale you use.
:o(
Good for you, some people are just too toxic to be friends with..anything that brings out the racists and the ranters is useful.
Every day, every single day, an American 'friend' of my husbands, sends 10 - 12 hate filled emails to us. It seems he never runs out of fodder. It makes me feel angry at first, then so very afraid for humanity. After a bit of huffing and puffing, I remind myself that we must all stay in the vortex, and concentrate on wonderful humans, who exude peace and love, in order for it to continue.
Sadly, such 'friends' just have to go.
Like attracts like as you know, so get the heck away from this person. ♥
nancy, i agree one hundred and fifty percent with your perspective - and after having seen these kinds of things on the media lately i am sickened by it all - and tired of it - it's as if we are living back in the 60's in terms of the inherent racism now - and the hate mongering racist acting out by the so-called "leaders" of this country sitting there in the senate and anywhere else they can find a like-minded listener for an audience - horrendous! i have quit listening to the news so as not to be subjected to it - but then feel as if i am disavowing my own sense of right and wrong by doing that and trying to insulate myself from it - is it time for us all to write letters to the hate mongers, the racists representatives of this country - to our own representatives - would it do any good - stage protests over their acts, stand up and act out in our own way? what would help? what would work? i don't know - but i do know that i do not tolerate any kind of bigotry or prejudice or racism in my personal presence or around me - that includes all the "ism's" - and interrupt it if i happen across it - sorry, i ramble - bottom line - i totally agree - and am appalled at what i have seen and heard - and tired of it, like you and the others!
I have some family members with a need to send me their propaganda encased with scriptture verse to back it all up and then am told if I delete it and not "keep it going" something terrible will happen. Same people will tell you they do not believe in superstitions and chain letters. I just hit spam when I see their stuff now. I choose not to even try to point out how very un-Christ-like their so called "Christian" behaviour is.
I agree with you completely. I simply don't understand the hatred over health care reform. the total and complete ignorance of these people is unbelievable.
We have a cousin on my husband's side. Rabid republican. Against everything, against taxes, against big government, against any form of socialism, against health care reform. so does he have a job? Nope. Gets full government disability and social security. He's got his, but he'll be damned if anybody else gets any.
on a better note, it was only a few 'haters' in the crowd... but it does go to show, it really only takes one ignorant person to cause alarm. Truly a shame.
Nancy, I stepped out of the closet with my post about being a bleeding heart liberal. Of course, most of the people who read my blog already know that about me, it must seep out between the lines. As yours also has done. Nothing you wrote was a surprise (wow, Nancy is a liberal? Who knew? :-)
I don't know what to do about the horrible hate mongering, but I do know that racism and homophobia are alive and well in this country and it took a black president to reveal the depth of it. You are right, the media is fueling the fire.
But you are actually making a huge difference, right now, with this post. Look at all of us who agree with you and don't want to respond in kind. Let's use some humor and restraint in order to keep from becoming what we despise. So, I am smiling right now, because of the headline I just read:
Republicans upset by the size of Obama's package.
Says it all, doesn't it? :-) :-)
These people are full of hate - unconsciously for themselves and cannot bear it so they find 'enemies' to project it upon.
From someone outside, looking in, I find this baffling and frightening. Who are these people? They really have attitudes that seem to be out of the dark ages. We rail against islamic fundamentalist extemists - yet here we find the same thing living and spewing their archaic beliefs here in North America.
That your lawmakers have to strike compromises is with these people is horrifying ... it will 'dumb down' every attempt to improve the living conditions for your citizens.
You are brave to articulate your views so candidly Nancy - having to live amidst such inflammatory ideologies.
That reaction and aggression leaves me stymied too. I truly don't get why folks feel so threatened. It's a head-scratcher to me but then again bigotry always has been.
Some of these emails that get circulated are despicable. But I honestly think some folks forward them along without truly thinking about who they're sending them to. You are probably on this guy's joke mailing list and not specifically singled out as a recipient for his crappy "jokes." I've asked a few people (none with whom I'm close) to take me off of their mailing list for similar reasons. I'm sorry that the ugly side of human nature reveals itself like this.
I've sent congratulations to various other pro-health care bloggers.
They have also blogged on the disgraceful behaviour of some people.
And still, you did it, it has become law and, if you are lucky, little by little attitudes and mindsets will change.
I certainly hope so, for America and Americans and America's image in the world.
Congratulations!
I totally agree with you, and I couldn't have said it better.
Oh, I love this post. It's so about time to call out the lies as they occur. For too many years, the bar was so low, lies passed for news, and the more the lies were circulated, the more likely they were to believed.I was appalled at how fiercely the republicans held to their ridiculous platform. I suspect they represent the dying paradigm. Great post, Nancy.
this wasn't negative nancy, it was factual reporting. calling attention to hate, in order to wipe it out, is an act of decency. i have so much respect for you and admiration too.
i agree with you and am glad you have tossed the "friend" on his ear...this is all very scary, from my vantage point, and truthfully, i am not sure where it will end...one could say perhaps it will serve as a wake-up call to those more sensible to become more active or you could see it as being the end of the US as we know it. there was bound to be a racist component to these meatheads but the way Fox stirs it up is simply obscene and should not be allowed...there is freedom of speech and there is human decency and fox seems to not know the difference...at all... i also think there is a lot of fear brewing and it "feels" like we have reached a sort of tipping point for many, and these dim wits have decided it's as good an excuse as any to show their true colors as racist gun-toting pigs without a brain in their combined heads.
xoxox to you, my dear ;)
Nancy, I love this post.. I have been so upset after this last disgusting exhibit from from the
Replublicans.. I hate even calling them that...I think the problem is having two parties to begin with and not just one country united..I too have had issues with friends..it really changes how you think about someone when they they support these people..I think we should eliminate hateful people from our lives..but I am so afraid we are actually close to heading for another CIVIL WAR becase BOTH side have such strong strong belief..seems that compromise is not even an option..at this point..I really think this weakens our country this division..we are very vulnerable right now..I guess we can only pray at this point..
I never send anyone any political jokes or propoganda, because how do I know if someone agrees with me or will they be offended. I wish other people would extend to me this same courtesy. I have received immigration jokes and propoganda forever, and do these people know that I am half mexican and half my family were immigrants? Yes they do, but for some reason they think I'd like see this crap.
I dont know, my grandma (an immigrant) always told me the easiest way to lose a friend was to discuss politics or religion, so I try not to do that, unless I am absolutely certain we are of the same basic belief.
Some people may think this is weak, or a copout. I call it diplomatic. My opinion on politics and religion is not important enough to me to lose a friend over, but if it is to them, they will lose me, because I do not want to fight with my friends and if someone wants to bully me into a corner, I will not be friends with them any longer. Hateful emails to me is cyber bullying their polital agenda at you and I do believe I would have to cut them out of my life too.
I think the tea-baggers are actually a minority but they've been given a very big platform by the broadcast media - esp. Fox. This does have the tendency to poison the waters for everyone else. Insanity is not acceptable.
As a Canadian who has never had to worry about qualifying or paying for healthcare, I cannot understand why SOME Americans do not want ALL Americans to have access to affordable health care.
We have it, and we aren't bankrupt, we're still capitalists, the sky isn't falling; in fact our economy is doing very well.
A few years ago there was a survey done to find out the people's choice for the "greatest Canadian".
Out of former Prime Ministers, Nobel Prize winners, scientists, inventors, environmentalists, and SPORTS FIGURES (gasp) we chose: Tommy Douglas the 'father' of socialized medicare in Canada. That's right - he beat out Wayne Gretzky, Alexander Graham Bell, Frederick Banting (discoverer of insulin) and a host of other greats. We've had nearly 50 years to get used to the idea of affordable accessible health care and we're PROUD to include everyone.
I don't understand the people against healthcare reform, but then again I didn't understand the Nazis either.
From here in Australia the depth of this polarisation looks pretty extraordinary too. Most people that
I know here the success of the health reform bill that passed. The bigotry that opposes such reforms is tragic.
Back here, from faraway I've been following the debate unfold.
It seems the ability to disagree without being disagreeable is beyond us as a human race.
I see much the same back here in political debates.
I agree Nancy, this has really been getting out of hand, and sadly, I believe people buy into the fear and distortions being put out by many Republicans, and many of the media. We saw it during the election, and again now. Also sadly, I feel the undercurrent is racial and "they" will do all they can to tear down our President. I was upset enough over the weekend to turn off the coverage as it became so negative.
I'm still shaking my head wondering how ignorant and outrageous some can be.
What has happened to respect??
Chris - You are right on so many levels.
Von - We have to draw the line somewhere.
Natalie - Yes, concentrate on all of the wonderful people in the world.
Gypsy - I do think we need to speak out. We need to let those that incite hate and violence know that we will not go quietly. I signed a petition this morning demanding the Republican party take responsibility for the language they are using, and the lies that are being allowed to propagate. This language is going to incite violence if it is not toned down, especially towards our president.
Kathy - That's what is so totally amazing to me - when it is couched in "Christ's" word! Wow, what hypocrisy.
Ellen - I know, right? The ones most against health care reform are soaking up as much as they can get! Including this "friend" of ours. He has government-paid medical care. Hypocrites!
Kay - It only takes a few to incite many.
DJan - You are so right, and I love that headline! Thanks for the brevity. You said it perfectly.
Bonnie - We are dumbing down America by condescending to these people. You are absolutely correct in this. It takes us back to the Dark Ages.
Hilary - I wish I could believe it's a joke to send it to me, but I don't receive other emails that are funny. I think he sends them to me because it is a release of all of the anger he is feeling. He knows I don't agree, so it's passive-aggressive. And I'm done being a vessel for his nastiness.
Friko - Thank you so much for your kind words. They are appreciated, believe me.
Hilary. Thank you.
Trish - I think so, too.
Lori - Thank you. Sometimes it's time to speak out, and now is the time.
linda - I totally agree with you. We have reached a tipping point. It's time to stand up for what we feel is right. By remaining quiet we allow hate to proliferate. Calm, reasonable support for our president, and lawmakers, is absolutely necessary to our way of life and all that we hold dear. And it's time to vote out the ones that are stirring up hate, and support those that are trying to do the right thing, whether we personally agree or not. I demand leaders, not rioters, in Congress. Nothing less will do.
Marlene - Pray, remaining calm and centered, is the best way to combat fear. I am also standing up and being heard. It's the only way I know.
Nancy - We are all immigrants in this country unless we are Native American. People conveniently forget this when it suits their purpose. Cyber bullying - that is exactly what is going on!
susan - Fox is behind the Tea Baggers. Did you see the film of Fox producers working up a crowd of these folks? Then they lied about which protest they were representing on the news. They made it out like it was just happening, and this particular protest happened months earlier, as was about a completely different thing! They blatantly lie on this program, and call it news. Incredible. And very scary!
I know what you mean - political issues are usually frustrating. It is quite ironic how there will be influential people who cause a big scene on trivial issues when more necessary details like health care and education remain out of the limelight. We must continue focusing on what is right and what is necessary.
With regards to people ranting and removing yourself from their company, I also agree. We are the people we surround ourselves with, and if we always associate with those who are negative, we tend to pick up those habits as well. I try to spend time with people having virtues I admire, and find it raises standards and is motivating. I shudder to think what would happen otherwise. Look on the positive, your post is another eyeopener. Thanks.
Kathryn - Unfortunately these people are not listening to you and your countrymen. They only hear what they want to hear, and it is always negative about health care reform.
Elisabeth - It continues to amaze me as well.
Anil - Sad, isn't it?
Linda - Respect. Sadly lacking, I'm afraid.
It's all about money, sadly! It's not very Christian either is it! It is not a very good advertisement for the American people either, is it!
Over here in England, despite what you've heard in your press, we have a wonderful healthcare system that takes care of us from the cradle to the grave. That is despite our being the most over-populated country in Europe with probably the highest rate of immigration too.
What is all the fuss about? Surely it makes sense to let everyone have a slice of the pie over there? Don't you have enough money to spread around yet???
I agree with everything you said, Nancy.
Well done Obama! You are a truly great president.
Blessings, Star
I am not around much anymore, but funny that I found this post when I wandered back. Just "launched" another "friend" yesterday for exactly the same reason. In this time of celebration and breakthrough, it makes me think often that I live in the wrong country. Most certainly the wrong state! Best to you and yours, brave soul.....EFH
Hi Nancy,
Horrible, I feel very much the same way that you do. Unfortunately, in my case, I would have to disown members of my family. Instead, as exhausting as it is, I perservere in explanation. I haven't yet found the place on earth where people live without bigotry and fear. Compassion, especially for the ignorant, it is a very tall order.
As for the media, any reaction at all is a positive one. They will continue to show us the most shocking and radical views if it gets a rise out of us. We need to be conscious of what we consume and how we allow it to affect us.
"We can wage two wars, kill thousands, and the country comes apart over health care reform?"
I have watched in amazement these past years. Every time I think we've made progress in our country, ignorance displays its ugly head. The leaders of it prey on the stupid, under the guise of delivering the "real" news. Shameful.
I am so happy to see/hear different voices than what is being called for on the hate station FOX. I am not American and i do not live in the USA, but i do have USA cable stations to watch, and after watching FOX NEWS almost every evening for years, my wife and I finally had enough of it.
At some point, it was ...well, funny how FOX was hating most of it's fellow citizens in so many ways....until funny turned into sad to watch, and then unbearable.
It's refreshing to see the nice and clear thinking people stand up in the USA...you country will need your brain power to keep it on the right track!
Just one more tought to add... instead of turning your heads away from people who spew hatred, maybe try to convince them of how wrong they are, because they are also trying to convince more of the well-thinkers to become members of their club!
For every hate spewer you can convince to stop, you save at least two others from turning into one of them. Just turn around their tactics to stop them from their own goals.
Yeah, I've got a few friends like that who send stupid emails. Two of them are Jewish and should know better! Both are conservative which blows me away. One grew up w/ a father in a wheel chair; the other's parents were both in show biz. I expected my girlfriend to be supportive of health care reform because of her dad's situation. No deal. My other friend had liberal parents and his father changed his real name to an Irish last name to avoid anti-Semitism in Hollywood during the Thirties & Forties. He is now a director, out of work over 3 yrs (age & pigeon holing) and very bitter and angry. He's become a Conservative. He was my closest male friend in high school and I still love him but had to admoninsh him in a "Reply All" email to not send me propaganda any more. He has complied. My other friend is in my Junk Mail list.
ok, don't shoot me but I'm a conservative reading your blog. Shocking, right. I have my opinions, but also know when to keep my mouth shut. Just wanted to say not all of us are hate mongers, etc. etc. In any crowd it seems some will behave badly. I'm not a bad person just because I'm conservative in my views and I don't think others are bad just because they are "liberal" in theirs. The fact that we are free to have these opinions and talk about them is what makes this country great-at least to me. (I love a good argument) Ok, thanks. I had my say. Now you can shoot me, unfriend me, add me to your junk mail list.
livenomad - I do agree with your assessment of the people you surround yourself with. All of our friends are conservative. We live in a very conservative state (you wouldn't think Nevada conservative), but only a very few are toxic, and I just have to stay away from them.
Star - Good point - everyone should have a piece of the pie. There should be plenty to go around.
Expat - We've missed you! Come back, we miss your take on things!
Butternut - You are absolutely right about what we consume. Because it does affect us, unfortunately. It's always good to be reminded, as I am when I read your blog, that we have so much in this country. It is worth preserving, but also looking out into the world to see how we can be part of the global community. How can we help other countries to help themselves? We are all connected.
Midlife - Shameful and scary.
Andre - Thank you so much for your take on things. I agree in trying to change minds, unfortunately the only way I've been able to do that is to not discuss politics, but to talk about things that elevate us. Politics is a hotbed of anger here in the US. Very few people can discuss it with differing opinions in a rational manner. I have many friends that do not believe as I do, but we can only remain friends if they don't bombard me with ugly, racist, hateful emails. But I also do not push my opinions on them. We talk a lot about the weather...
California - That's what I have done. Asked people to not send nasty emails, or send them to "junk." This particular friend has been asked many times, even by my very rational husband, but just can't seem to help himself. The only way is sever the relationship at this point.
Missy - You would probably be shocked to know how conservative I am! LOL! I think those labels have done more harm than anything in this country. They were used as political tactics to divide and conquer. Liberal and conservative are now dirty words, because they are affiliated with extremes in both direction. The reality is that most of us are in the middle! We want decent lives, but small government. I would never abandon reading someone as gifted as you are, because we have political differences. Differences are great - it is what makes our country wonderful. It's the ugliness of the far right that has me angry. I'm done with the signs calling for settling things with guns, spitting, calling out racial epitaphs. I suspect many conservatives are just as appalled by this type of behavior as I am. It's not about liberal v. conservative. It's about decency, and fixing the many problems we have in this country. It's going to take people pulling together, and this type of protesting is not doing anything constructive.
Nancy, my uncle (a Fox nut) is constantly sending those kinds of emails for my mother and father (who voted for Obama). My mother has asked, several times, for him to desist.
Truly, I cannot understand how people could accept the wars and financial chicanery and erosion of civil liberties . . . but are getting so exercised over this long-needed reform.
Bee - It's pretty Wing-Nutty, for sure.
I remember hearing someone say,
"So do you want the puppet on the left, or the puppet on the right?" and it made me laugh because it seems to be so true.
learning about our government's history is very interesting to me. We have always had conflicts between one party or the other. The fundamentalists and the republicans. If only the people would have know what this would have turned our nation into... Keep posting, Nancy. I don't know what to read, where to go to learn about all of this, or who's opinion to trust. I certainly trust yours.
Nancy,
I feel the same way you do, and I also have had to drop "friends" for spewing toxicity.
Perhaps the motto "Don't Drink the Kool Aid" needs to be updated to "Don't Drink the Tea".
Do you sometimes wonder what this world is coming to?
I know there are people out there who hate Obama just because he is BLACK - not because he's a DEMOCRAT. How sad is that?
A lot of this perception of hate is selective programing on the part of the media. They need to sell papers and maintain an audience and sensationalism sells. The middle of the road gets left in the dust.
Also, it is the job of youth and the younger segment of our society to complain/rebel/act out. It is the part of older citizens (second half) to be taken aback and scared for the future of our country. Welcome to the second half.
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