Friday, March 6, 2009

Glam-mas


This article caught my attention because the topic has come up more than once lately. There seems to be two camps when it comes to grandparenting. Those that want to be fully involved in their grandchildren's lives, and those that only want occasional interaction. I'm not going to attempt to sway one way or the other. I do know that families that share a certain amount of childcare tend to feel less stress. I can remember when my children were young not having anyone to share the load very often. My mother died when I was young, my father not long after the birth of my second child. My in-laws were not the type to want the children for anything other than observing, nothing hands-on. So from a personal point of view, I know how hard it is when you do not have grandparents that want to be with their grandchildren.

My daughter e-mailed me yesterday to ask about a certain week in June. I knew it was not probably something that involved fun with me. No, it was as expected, would we be available to watch our grandson so they could have a get-a-way. Of course, I said yes. One caveat - we wanted him here in our home, not in theirs. That is for two reasons. One, I want him comfortable in our home, since we live so far away. And two, he needs a vacation, too! Children get tired of looking at the same things, playing with the same toys, and need stimulus. My feeling is that we can do things with him here that involve the beach, mountains, and walks in the woods. Since he doesn't sleep in his crib, he can just sleep with us. (Yes, I know, he should sleep in his crib, but since I never was very good at getting my children to do that, I will not lecture.)  In other words, we want hands-on time with him. I guess we're not Glam-mas, or Glam-pas.  What about you? Do you have grandchildren? Which camp are you in?

11 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I ended up raising my first grandson and adopting him. Having seen the sacrifices we made my daughter (not this child's mother) insists that we are not the caretakers of her children, we just get to have fun with them. Same with her twin brother. My baby daughter is totally into sharing her childcaring with us. She is a single mom and last year we had her three year old son for a month. We enjoyed him enormously and she is already planning a stay for this summer. I have it both ways, I guess. If we lived closer to them (9 hour drive), I think we would share more of the responsibilities with them all. Sadly my oldest daughter and I are estranged and I don't have any interaction with her subsequent children.....

Lindz said...

I think booga would enjoy a get away as well and I think it would be healthy for him to get out of his own home to be with you in yours. How will you get him there?

Jeninacide said...

Lindz has a point- it is a looong drive to Tahoe!

Jeninacide said...

Oh and I am glad you are not a Glam-ma. That would suck.

California Girl said...

My husband and I always lived too far from the families. We never had help in that dept. It was very hard & I still feel a sense of irritation about it. My parents were retired but they always wanted us to move back to where they were: California. Of course, we had careers elsewhere. I think they'd have taken care of the grandchildren alot but were prevented by distance. My husbands' parents would have been most unlikely baby sitters. Too self centered.

I can't wait to be a grandparent. My sons are only 20 & 21 and just learning to care for themselves. I have a ways to go but I look forward to that duty and I hope to be able to live close enough to help out when the time comes. I certainly won't expect them to move back to me!

Lover of Life said...

Not sure about the technicalities, yet. Parental units flying out of Reno, maybe??

TheChicGeek said...

Your grandbaby is so adorable. I think you will make memories of a lifetime having him come to your home to visit! What could be better, Grandma, Grandpa, the woods, the lake, BEAUTIFUL!

Odd Chick said...

I love my two grandsons. We live on a farm and they think they love coming here from their home in Texas. My favorite thing is to schedule time to spend with them for a week, get completely prepared, have them come and then play, eat and sleep together, and then, exhausted, send them home. And then talk often on the phone with them about the fun we had. And then plan another week to look forward to in a couple of months. That's worked really well for us. So I'm talking to them very frequently, and spending quality amounts of time with them also.

linda said...

what s lovely subject...

I am definitely NOT a glamma and that's a great word, btw! My son just told us they will be here for 2 weeks for my birthday in april and I am so excited to have those little ones running around again...they are in texas and close in age, now 6, 4, and 2 and she is expecting one last one(4mth) so I think they want to come and crash for awhile, rest and have a day and night away from the kids and we want to get our hands on them for snuggles and play...we live on a ranch like odd chick and there is so much to do, like tractor riding-which is a huge hit and something they never seem to forget about, we have the lawn cutter, a small tractor and then there's just the running around free!!! I also have my studio and we have art everyday and I need to plan some projects and WELCOME IDEAS!!

I try to prepare lots of food ahead and freeze it...I am very much Ina style, without the lovely silver bowls (that are $700 a piece!) the week before they come is very busy but then I can relax and simply enjoy them all...My other son and his wife will be home from Singapore, hopefully for good (they have a home in SF) so we are planning a lot of family time! My son is getting a doctorate at UT and is about done, maybe another year and it will be so good to have them closer and I'm of course hoping they settle in California!!

phew... long story and I apologize but you know how it is when you start talking about the gkids!!! Can't wait to get my hands on them!!!

soapymomponders said...

I'm definitely not a glam-ma, either - nor do I want to be. I posted on this same topic when I read it.(http://soapymom.blogspot.com/2009/03/glam-mas-new-breed-of-grandmothers-very.html) I understand the two extremes, but this article made it sound like these women wanted nothing to do with the grandkids. That's sad - not only for the kids, but for them as well. My grandson (who has his own blog, too) is such a joy. My other grandson (and his soon-to-be baby sister) live in another state and I miss having the same opportunities for interaction with them. I don't give up what I'mnot willing or able to give up in order to help my daughter out. Because I never had it, and I know how much my kids missed out on, I vowed to put myself out there whenever I could. They'll only be little for so long and the times they'll want to spend with us will diminish. I can do my own thing then - if I want to.

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