My husband passed September 27, 2017 at our home with my daughters and myself in attendance. To say it was a peaceful passing would be a lie, as I'm not sure there is such a thing, but with glioblastoma it could have been much worse. We made it through. He is safely on the other side.
After 36 years of marriage, I find myself alone for the first time since I was 27 years old. I was very different at 27. I was young and the world was before me. My friend, Trish McGregor of Synchosecrets, read my chart sometime during the summer of 2017 saying it looked like the beginning of October as being a time when my life would open up in a big way. She was right. By the beginning of October, my life was a gaping wound that included any and all possibilities.
So, the first thing I did was get a kitten to keep me company. Inky is a brat but he is also sweet and warm with soft fur and the ability to soothe. There are many nights I'm grateful for his little beating heart next to me on the bed. (Not so grateful in the morning when he walks on my head at 5:30 a.m.) Lucy, our 13-yr old lab, is out on our property with my daughter and her husband. Happy as can be on 5.5 acres.
I was warned to not make big decisions during the first year as I may regret them. But not making moves is not my way of dealing with life. I know enough about how the brain works to know that staying in our condo in Portland by myself for long periods of time would not be healthy. Not for me, not for my children. So I sold our vacation home at Tahoe and will move back to my hometown. It was at Rich's memorial in Reno at the end of October, that I realized my friends, my siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins help fill that gaping wound left by Rich. We raised our family in Reno, and my husband worked over 25 years at the local power company. Our history is there.
My little home in a brand new 55+ community should be finished in July. I am in walking distance to an amazing jr. olympic size lap pool, beautiful clubhouse, workout center, and people moving in that are up for making friends and remaining active. 68 is the average age, so not much older than I am now. Pickleball seems to be a big draw, although I'm not sure how to play it. There is a full-time activity director and the calendar seems full. I can be as involved and active as I want, or can hang with family and old friends. Either way, it is time to move forward.
I know no other way.