Thursday, August 30, 2012

Blogging with Lies



You may have noticed my absence in these parts, or maybe you've moved on and found blogs that are more interesting and more prolific. I really don't blame you. Blogging has made me feel exposed - and not in a good way. I'm not sure I want to give it up, but having a blogging buddy turn out to be a complete fraud hasn't helped me want to continue. Read the story here.

I don't know why people do the things they do, but I do hope Jeff finds the help he needs. In the meantime, I will work on my book and just lurk around the edges of blog land.

We live in interesting times.


22 comments:

Rob-bear said...

I'm so sorry you have been hurt this way.

I think there are a lot of people who think their lives are somehow small and unimportant, who tell exaggerated stories to make themselves feel better.

Blessings and Bear hugs.

Nancy said...

Rob-bear - The sad thing is I would probably have liked him without all the lies. Somewhere inside his made up world lives the heart of a hero. It's just sad that he doesn't feel "enough" just the way he is.

Brian Miller said...

ugh i got an email on this yesterday...why people do that...i dunno...some unmet need and to play with peoples emotions...ugh

Hilary said...

Wow. I didn't know this guy or his blog but it's disturbing to know someone put so much time and energy to be so deceptive. It really shouldn't surprise me.. I've seen that sort of thing online before - in Internet Relay Chat and on forums, and those folks tend to reveal themselves rather quickly.. they're just too wonderful to be true.

Throughout our lives we encounter people who rip us off in one way or another. Usually it's financially. Sadly, those who prey on us emotionally, have the great potential to do the most damage. We question our own judgement, but truly the deceit lies within their own selves and should not reflect on how we continue to pursue our endeavors.

This fellow has taken your trust and caring heart, and put his need for attention ahead of it. Don't let him keep taking from you by changing/ending how you present yourself to the world via your own blog. I hope you won't allow him to do this to you.. to your blog. It gives him far more importance than he deserves.

His blogging voice has been silenced. I hope you won't allow him to to silence yours.

DJan said...

I followed Jeff a long time ago, but I stopped when he got angry and very self righteous about some things. I am also sorry to find out that he isn't who he said he is, because there was simply no reason at all for the fraud. I do follow YOU, though, because I know you are a person who wants to make a positive difference in the world. Please don't go...

Kathy G said...

I, too, read his blog. Thanks for the link exposing the truth. Guess I'll be removing that one from my Reader subscriptions...

Leah J. Utas said...

This is annoying. Sadly, plenty of people do this kind of nonsense and make it so much harder for the ones who are truly suffering.

Bruce Coltin said...

Sick. Very sick.

Trish and Rob MacGregor said...

Thanks for linking, Nancy. We all have lessons to learn from this, I guess.
- Trish

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Eye-opening story, and I'm sure it has shaken you. I hope you do hang around, at least at the edges, and then write a little something now and again if the spirit moves you.

ellen abbott said...

I agree with Hilary. You can't let the frauds change who you are. OK, so his blog turned out to be a fabrication. But what did he take from me besides a little bit of my time reading and occasionally commenting, or maybe a little bit of internet 'support'? Nothing. I don't feel cheated or fooled. Just sort of, 'huh, how about that'. So now, when I think back about his blog, I think of it as a novel that didn't end. I enjoy fiction and that's what it was. Sad for him that he needs to do this to feel important but it didn't cost me anything and I'm not going to change how and when I blog because of it and I'm not going to assume that every blog I read or person I think they are is not real. What's the point of that? I believe unless I am given reason not to believe. And then I don't believe anymore and move on.

Nancy said...

Thanks for your comments, everyone! I have no intention of leaving the blog world, but I do admit to being much more careful in who I trust and what I write about. Not because of people like Jeff, but because we have absolutely no idea who is reading what we write, and what effect it may be having. I tend to write about esoteric or political issues and have had government bots reading these posts. What does that mean? I'm not sure.

GYPSYWOMAN said...

and sadly, this pretend-jeff guy is not the only one out there in blogland -

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I'm still real, Nancy.


Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

wow - wow - can't even comprehend how people could do this stuff. i'm even amazed that someone could keep this up for so long.

i'm real, too. :)

Grandmother said...

Reminds us of the need for diligence online (and teaching this to our children and grandchildren) where people can represent themselves falsely and harm others. Sorry this happened to you. I'm still interested in hearing from you.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I didn't ever read his blog, but I am gullible and a sucker for a sad story, and would no doubt have been taken into his world of fiction. But, like Ellen, I enjoy reading fiction as well as stories of truth.
I am real and tend to write about my own experiences, because truth really is atranger than fiction!

Butternut Squash said...

Hi Nancy,

I don't know why anyone would spend the time to create such an elaborate fiction. I have enough trouble keeping up with my current truth.

Truth seems to me myriad fragments of a broken mirror. We can only reflect one small fragment at any given time.

Reflect what you love! Your insights are always worth exploring and that is why I love to come back to touch base with you.

Peace

Pat said...

I have been a follower of Jeff's for a few years now. I, too, am in shock over this whole thing. The first thing I thought of when I received the email was that an angry student was trying to get back at him.

I tried to explain this story to my family members, but they don't seem to understand what the big deal is. I feel like I develop a relationship with fellow bloggers, especially over the years. I feel like I've lost somebody close to me.

CrazyCris said...

Ouch! I can only imagine how it must feel to discover someone whose life you've been "following" is a fraud. He must have had a desperate need for attention. Don't know what to say.

But don't let one bad apple ruin the barrel for you! There are plenty more of us out there who are "real"!

I understand wanting to be careful though, we all pull back a bit when we've been hurt. Just let time heal it then jump back in with joy! I don't have as much time as before to read all the blogs I follow and comment... but I do enjoy visiting yours from time to time! I'd be sad if you went away! :o(

If you want a change of pace, a change of scenery... how 'bout you come sailing with me in Greece? Virtually of course! ;o)

http://criscrossing.blogspot.com.es/2012/07/sailing-saronic-islands-in-greece.html

HUGS!!!

Kathryn said...

http://ajarpana.wordpress.com/
Is it too late to post a comment here? I, too, though jeff was real (albeit a bit obsessed about his deceased friend, in an unhealthy way). well, guess what I stumbled upon the other day. Check out the intro to the blog link I posted. sound familiar? either 'she' has stolen the intro from somewhere, or 'Jeff' has recreated himself - this time as a woman? I'll be interested to see what ind of drama this new person has in his/her life and if the writing style is similar to 'Jeff'. Interesting....

Nancy said...

Kathryn - Very interesting, indeed!