What makes you happy?

This age old question is doing it's share of popping into conversations and blogs these days. And I am aware that happiness is certainly personal and dynamic. But my husband, who is currently reading "The Ascent of Money" by Niall Ferguson, read a few passages about the paradox of why the people living in the safest country in the world are also the most insured. Ferguson also discusses when English-speaking people began to be obsessed with buying and selling of houses. Both very interesting, and directly related to happiness, I think.

First of all, it has only been in the last few decades that people began to believe that they must own a house to be happy. Before that, people often rented their entire lives, often living in the same place. See New York City. People in Switzerland often never pay off their homes, just passing the mortgage on in their wills to their family. But our country feels that you are just not complete without the "American Dream". With that comes taxes, insurance, upkeep, etc. You are tied to that house and mortgage. And you are tied to that exact location. Believe me, I know what it is like to have a big house on the market during down times. Our last one had three people come through (other than the lookie-lous that came through during the "open house" phase), in 100 days. It was a beautiful home, in a beautiful location. But it was outside the Twin Cities area, and gas was starting to sky rocket. It was not looking good. We lucked out with a man that walked through, loved it, bought it for cash (for his summer home - the rest of the time he lived on a horse ranch in Texas), no contingencies! Great luck. But I can see a very different scenario if we were still there. What I'm trying to get to, is why do people feel compelled to own something that will take so much of their income that it will cause anxiety if circumstances change? Losing your down payment, not to mention your equity, on a house you can no longer afford is a crushing blow. But millions are going through this right now. 

Now for insurance. We have to insure everything. Yesterday the person at the checkout counter at a local sport shop wanted my husband to insure his new running shoes for a year. My husband laughed and declined, saying he would not use them for a year. He believes in good running shoes and only uses them a few months - but that's another story. The point is we have to own all this stuff and then insure it. How much of our lives, and money, is just taking care of our stuff? I have always disagreed with friends that bought houses for their children to live in while attending college. Why would you tie your children down to a house during the only free time of their lives? The fun is moving from place to place, fixing it up and making it your home. Lots of good stuff comes from that. Yet the first thing many do is help their children buy a home after graduation. Thus ensuring they will be right there, for a long time. What if they wanted to travel and see the world? Or work overseas? Or take a job across the country? Get a second degree or work in another field that may pay less? Experience life? 

So, I guess I would pose the question - do we really think about what makes us happy? Really looking at what makes our day? Or do we assume our happiness must look like a programed set of values that may or may not fit what we actually like to do? And why do we have to own everything? Does it make us happier?

Fingerprints and Blogging

Have you ever noticed that everyone's blog roll is different? Even very like-minded people have blog rolls that express their individuality. Yours may be more heavily into children and babies, like my daughters, or music, or poetry, or art. But all of them seem to have an exclusive fingerprint, expressing that person's desire for friendship, understanding, faith, caring, and education. We run to the ones that are our teachers when we feel down, and to the ones that make us laugh when we need a good one. We reach out to those that we feel might need a friend, and gladly accept the hand of friendship from others. We revel in the good fortunes of our blogging buddies and strive to give heartfelt advice to those going through tough times. And all through this amazing labyrinth, we find what we need and what may need to be given. One of a kind fingerprints. Possible relationships with people all over the world. People who are much more similar to us than not. Each with their own blog roll, expressing their distinctness.

The dynamic nature of such an interface is remarkable. You are free to pick and choose among an ever-expanding field of extraordinary writers. The trouble for me is finding the time to follow all the ones I want to follow. I only give a cursory glance at all of the news programs that I once followed so carefully. Books remain unread. All the while I float around cyberspace learning more in a day about a variety of topics that I never imagined even existed. 

What about you? Do you have an expanding fingerprint/blog roll?

Stew Update #2

So last night I cooked what I thought was the final stew. I included almost all, yes all, of your suggestions. And I think it was "the stew". But it seems my husband is saying it is not the final stew due to the dumplings (new addition, and he hates all new additions of most things), soaking up too much of the liquid. Therefore he is insisting I go back, and do the same stew without the dumplings, before he gives the final thumbs up.

I'm a little worried because it is starting to warm up. I mean how long into the spring do you really want to eat stew? ?

More to follow...

Interesting Dreams

I am one of those people who very rarely remembers dreams. But I had the most vivid dream about Richard Branson. Yes, Richard Branson. Do you suppose this picture could have anything to do with it?

Nixing the Prius

We have been in the market for a car. We gave mine to our son-in-law last fall so that he could do his job, which requires quite a bit of travel. In the meantime, I decided to go with a hybrid. We had pretty much decided on the new 2010 Prius because the batteries are designed to last the life of the car. (A car we will have for a very long time.)

As I mentioned in my last post - my Achilles heel is children and animals. And one of the animals that I love the most is the elephant. After watching this 60-Minutes segment, my husband and I have decided NOT to buy the new Prius we were going to buy this summer. In fact, we are going to do our very best not to buy anything from Japan and China due to their importation of tons and tons of ivory, causing the subsequent slaughter of elephants in Africa (up 45% this year alone). Japan continues to hunt whales, another subject I feel deeply about. Since we are not really buying much more than food these days, this shouldn't be too difficult.

At some point we need to make a stand for the creatures on our earth that cannot speak for themselves. And, for me, this is mine.

In no way do I feel negatively toward the Chinese or Japanese people (for whom I have the utmost respect and affection). It is their government's policies on these issues that I disagree with. And the only power I have is with my wallet (a constrained one at that). So, lets take a look at that new Ford Fusion hybrid...

Courage

I spent all of yesterday, in between loads of vacation laundry, to catch up on all of your blogs. What I found was a phenomenal number of blogs that are exhibiting courage right now. Courage in a variety of ways. We have an over-worked and stressed mother reaching out for a small baby in a bad home environment. It will mean taking on a family member. We all know how easy that is! We have a young woman reaching out, and actually doing something, for a young mother and her three tiny children who found themselves homeless and on the streets. A young girl in India showing up to tutor children who's only school is a dusty yard in front of a shackled building. The list goes on and on. People overcoming anxiety and other devastating illnesses to get better, and in so doing, are inspiring others to do the same.

One of those people inspired to show some courage is myself. Let me preface this by saying, my Achilles heel is children and animals. I spent years in school with the idea of becoming a family counselor. But I always knew, and my husband reinforced, that there was no way I could be objective when it came to children. A very important and necessary trait of a good therapist. So, instead I decided to take a job offer at a hospital where I was doing my internship. I worked in a wellness division and really enjoyed supervising a variety of programs. But it wasn't what I was trained to do, nor was it following the path I was meant to tread.

All the while, since working, and moving from state to state, I have had the intention of getting back to volunteer work. Specifically with needy families and children. But I kept putting it off. And I continue to put it off. 

Until last night. I had an epiphany and the light turned on. 

What I realized, is that I am protecting myself from the hurt that will come from working with children and families that are struggling. There will be those tiny faces, so at the mercy of the adults in their lives, that I will be limited in helping. And I will worry and stress and bring it home with me. I will be uncomfortable. I will be sad at times, furious in others. In other words, it's going to take courage. But if all of you can be courageous - why can't I? You have inspired me to go out tomorrow afternoon to our local Children's Cabinet and roll up my sleeves. There has never been a time that our world needed courageous, loving people, more than now. It's time, as Pema Chodron suggests "to lean into the points". Face our fears head-on, and, in the process feel the pain, but also reap the rewards.

Thank you peeps, you are the greatest!

Light, Love & Blogs

A couple of blogs I read recently are feeling the "change" that I am also feeling, in terms of a shift in energy. I learn something from all of your blogs, and I try to give back when I can. But sometimes a really good blog comes up that is especially good at lifting us up. You might want to visit Being Gemel, if you want a little spiritual lift. Beautiful blog, with lots of inspirational quotes and pictures. A love for animals. Nice things.

If any of you come across exceptionally positive blogs, I would love to know about them. Sometimes we need to focus on the positive to slog through personal stuff in our lives. It's important to draw positive energy to us, don't you think?

With that being said, I also enjoy all the other blogs out there that can be funny, sad, hopeful, irreverent, silly, and informative. That, to me, is the beauty of the blog world. And now that I'm back, I look forward to catching up...

P.S. - All those lovely spring pictures we have all been enjoying - this is what our neck of the woods looks like today. The little stream is full, though!